Adventures in life, love and motherhood

May 1, 2004

2011-05-02T08:47:00.000-05:00

The date comes every year whether I want it to or not, and I still remember everything about that morning (and the night before) as it happened 8 years ago.

I remember the call. Then I remember the next call that I had to make, calling to tell my husband he needed to come home from work. Then I remember the call after that. To my mom, telling her the news, and how I didn't know how I was ever going to get those words out to say to her. I remember the last thing I said to him as we transfered him to the hospice. And how making the decision to send him to the hospice was probably one of the hardest choices I'd ever have to make.

But, I knew my dad, I knew his wishes, and I had to respect that. He'd had a stroke a few weeks before which had left him pretty helpless, and he was pretty pissed about that. Then they found the Cancer. Melanoma that had gone to his lungs and brain. They gave him weeks. It turned out to be just several hours. I left him that night, telling him not to worry, everything was going to be ok, and that I loved him and would see him in the morning. Part of me thinks back to those words and how everything was not ok...but then an even bigger part of me think back and knows that really was the right thing to say, even though I did not know it at the time. He passed just a few hours later, and finally everything really was ok, and he no longer would have any worries. In his last hours he asked to see a Minister, and being Catholic, although non-praciting for years, he chose to pray and hear his Last Rites. My father was by no means a man of God, in fact, he was probably quite the opposite.He liked to enjoy his life, his whiskey, his guns, and various other vices... But, in the end he knew God was calling him, and welcomed his leaving us to be in a better place.

I miss my dad dearly. Daily. However, I still find peace in knowing that his prescence is always around me and my family, keeping us safe. While I wish that he was here to see my babies, I know that he sees them and knows them well.

What's in a Name?

2011-04-12T10:44:00.001-05:00

WARNING: It's a novel. Go pee and grab your coffee first. Or grab your coffee then pee. Whichever suits your need at the time.

I named my blog a few years ago, when I was laid off and became a stay at home mom. At the time I had full intentions of writing about all of the going on's (if that's even a correct phase) in my life. Somehow, the title "Adventures in life, love in Motherhood" has really just been about Motherhood. Which is fine with me. But sometimes the name just doesn't feel like it fits. Then I thought of this post. And for the first time in a long time it fits so perfectly.

The husband and I took our first "vacation" since before Kyndall was born (with the exception of literally 2 days in Vegas just to watch a UFC fight - which I wouldn't call a vacation - more like a getaway.) I love my husband dearly, and have ~~needed~~ yearned, for some time away with him for the past year. We've had a few date nights here and there, but I needed him, away from all the craziness that is our everyday lives. And we LOVE Vegas, it's where we were married almost 7 years ago, and just a place that we go back to over and over. We know the roads there the same as we know them in Houston. We even know a few of the dealers at the casinos that we go to regularly. It's our place. We've been planing a trip there for what seems like forever, but was probablly really only 6 months or so.

The day of our flight, Kyndall comes down with what we think is a horrible UTI. Screaming in pain every time she needs to pee, and hasn't gone for about 24 hrs, by the time I get her to the dr. After a failed attempt at a catheter, she finally gives enough of a sample to test, and then wakes the whole dr office up with her screaming as she finally relieves herself. HORRIBLE experience for us both. I was in tears. I didn't even cry when she got her first shots, I still don't. But this was truly so heartbreaking. All I could do was pray, and beg for God to take away her pain. They give her a shot of antibiotics, which she cries about for an hour, and complains that her leg hurts so bad that she can't walk...We drop her off at MaMaws, she seems fine, and we take off for the flight. I call to check in the next day, and again it's been 24 hours since the last time she peed...it's 3:30 Houston time, and the dr closes in 30 minutes. No way for my MIL to get a sitter for Rhyder and get to Baytown in 30 min...so it looks like a trip up to TCH ER. My mom rushes off work to head over - then another call. She finally went. I hear her laughing and playing in the background as opposed to the crying and whining I heard before. Next morning it's my moms turn with the kiddos. When I call her to check in, she tells me that Rhyder has a really bad cough and she's having to take both kids back to the Dr. FANTASTIC. Turns out Rhyder now has Croup. My poor mom and these sick babies. And poor me (yes I said it - poor ME). All I wanted was a break, and even 1,000 miles away I'm still worried sick about my babies at home.

Our trip was good despite that...and losing a bit of money...but then again, that's what you go to Vegas for anyways right??? Actually, someone ELSE lost the money, I kept us from losing TOO much by winning a few hundred here and there at roulette. One thing we learned...never play 23, always play 3. 4 times of playing and 23 NEVER hit. 3 hit every time. Yay me! :) Blackjack wasn't that great to us, but we had a great time playing. Hugos was FANTASTIC as always, and we had a great dinner at Mastrao's in the new CityCentre with some friends of ours who lived there. O'Shea's was a blast as always, Four Queens our usual spot robbed us blind within about 45 minutes. We missed the Paris breakfast buffet, and Margaritaville - two of the stops we ALWAYS make...but found a nice little new place to play downtown at Main Street Station that still pays 3-2 on Blackjack! We took a little drive up to Mt. Charleston and fell in love. We will be back one day for some sking and a few nights in one of the cabins that sits on the side of the mountain and has one of the best views ever! Oh, and of course we had to have our In & Out, # 2, Animal Style. I could seriously go to Vegas for just 24 hours, play a little blackjack, have In & Out for lunch, Hugo's for dinner, and come home a happy camper. Love the food in that town. After 3 long nights and 3 quick days, we headed back home on a crappy flight that was delayed over an hour, and finally got back to my moms around 2am . Babies were up around 7, and I was soooooo happy to have my sickiepoos back in my arms! Well, up for good, Rhyder was up from around 330-5am - welcome home, and back to no sleep! But I wouldn't trade it for the world!!!

And thank you Mom for taking such great care of my babies, I know it was hard, but they loved spending the couple of days with you and PaPaw as always.

Now, a few pictures for your viewing pleasure.

SNOW! We were sitting in snow!!! It's typically 30 degrees cooler in the mountains than in Vegas - and we found this to be true! 89 in the valley, a gorgeous 63 in the mountains!

Mon Bel Ami - where it all began, August 23, 2004. My sometimes romantic husband even pulled in to surprise me with a quick walk through to take a peek at what had changed, and recall some good memories. :) Love that man.

Self pic of us at Cosmopolitan inside of CityCentre.

Mt. Charleston


The photog in me always chasing that sunflare...

Overall we had a great trip. And I had a chance to experience the best parts of my life...My love, and Motherhood.

Deep Thoughts, by Kyndall B.

2011-04-07T11:44:00.002-05:00

I just have to write about a little something Kyndall just said to me before I forget. I've been sick as a dog the past few days, and since I'm so tired of continuously using Kleenex or T/P to blow my nose on, I've taken up using burp cloths or baby washcloths to blow my nose on. For one, they seem to be everywhere...for 2, they are pretty soft. So, Kyndall just caught me using a baby washcloth and this was the following convo:

Kyndall: What are you doing?
Me: Blowing my nose.
Kyndall: You used my babydolls washcloth.
Me: Yes, I did.
Kyndall: That's not nice.
Me: You're right. It's not. I'm sorry. I won't do it again, and I will wash it for you.
Kyndall: Ok.

Then runs off...seriously. Where does a 2 1/2 year old get this thinking from?

You better put some water in that...

2011-03-26T18:03:00.000-05:00

Kyndall LOVES water. Loves washing her hands. Which I'm sure is a good thing, but at the same time it has me thinking that she might just become a bit OCD (from me) as she gets older. That or she just loves to play in the water. I've told myself that we are going to get her one of those water table thingys for her birthday in July. Hell, it can't make any more of a mess than the mountain of bubbles I walked into yesterday, or the inches of our flooded bathroom from where a pair of her panties had been in the sink, stopped it up and she kept it running...and running, and running. I think knowing that all mom's know that "drip...drip...drip" onto porcelain tile sound. And if you're a new mom and you don't...you will. She will wash her hands for 20 minutes if you let her. And you wanna know a secret?? Sometimes I do! HA!

However, it causes her to go through soap like a crazy...1 1/2 bottle down this week. So, what does she do when it runs out? Puts water in it! She just asked me to go wash her hands in Mommy and Daddys bathroom, not sure what's so special about but, to each their own. I told her not right now, and that we were out of soap. Her response? "I will just put water in it and rub my hands together like this (rubs hands together). It's not going to make it any worse."

What do I say to that.... I love that girl.

Oh and to top off this whole conversation...she had hit record on my phone before setting it down to talk to me about washing her hands. So, even though it's just a brown screen. I have it on record. :) Turn it way up...and then once right about at the half way point feel free to turn it off. We've walked out of the room...

AND - speaking of water. I grabbed another video today while sitting at the red light of her pronouncing water. Just for you Mom. (Please excuse my sweet little angel picking her nose...she gets that from her Daddy...)

Things my kid said today...

2011-03-22T20:35:00.002-05:00

So, in talking to a friend over the weekend we were talking about how our kids say so many funny and memorable things, yet 2 hours later, we've forgotten them again. Her suggestion was to write them down as soon as they say them, on the big part of the calendar date. I have been repeating these things in my head for the past 2 hours, so that I didn't forget. And these are the memorable things my 2 1/2 year old said to me today...

Leave me alone....and go away.

Both because she was playing and didn't want me to interrupt.

And after I caught her drinking the water in the tub "I'm just drinking the waTer." (I told her that we say WA TUR instead of WA WA and now she super stresses the T in it. So, cute.) I made a comment about how we don't drink the bath water because it's so gross and dirty. She just smiled as the water came pouring out of her mouth... I went back to check on her a few minutes later and I asked her if she was ok and she said "Yessss. I'm not drinking the waTer. Just playing." Turd.

BTW - I ran errands all day, Rhyder is sick with a bad cold AND will have his first two teeth any day now, so my sweet boy has been sad and sometimes looks so miserable. :(. So in all that I did today I was toting his carrier, and diaper bag around all day. I'm about 99% sure that I pulled my bicep. And it HURTS. While at the dr today just joking around we weighed me, then the diaper bag that I carry on my left side, and him on my right. My weight without them...146 lbs (YAY me by the way!) With them? 183. Just busted out my trust calculator and that's 37 lbs. 37!!! No wonder my arms are always covered in bruises and sore! 19 lbs of that is him, but the rest is just junk!

Friday Fill In - #1 of 2011

2011-03-18T10:32:00.002-05:00

1. I love to go to Vegas because the place brings back so many memories of great times with friends and the Hubby.

2. It's not the quantity, it’s the quality only applies on some things...like money.

3. The last thing I had to eat was a gross cookie that I attempted to try and make tastes better by rewarming in the toaster oven...didn't work. Mrs. Fields cookies in a box don't compare to the real thing.

4. A college degree is no longer essential.

5. Please take a moment to thank God.

6. Because He has the one who has brought you this far.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to nothing really, tomorrow my plans include going to an unexpected wedding and Sunday, I want to take the kids to see my Mom who's been out of town.

Knock knock - Hi, it's me again!

2011-03-16T16:37:00.003-05:00

I just looked...and again, it's been about a month! ugh.

Well, in the past month I've come through my gallbladder surgery great, didn't really miss a beat at all in my love of all things food...and even through my month "off" of my diet, I still managed to lose a few pounds!! Which brings me to today's thought...

I put on a shirt this morning that I had put away for when I'm skinny again - now...I still have about 20 lbs to go, which to me is a long way, until I will call myself skinny, but being that I'm already down almost 30...I know that I can make it another 20! No problem, and that's with taking a month off! So...I've gotta keep an eye on those size 5s and know that I will be back in them one day. (Ok...so maybe not a 5, but I WILL be in a 7!)

I'm SUPER excited about this summer...well, spring/summer. We are going on our first trip to Vegas since Kyndall was 6 months old. And for those who don't know us well, Vegas is a big deal for us. It's where we got married, and for that reason there is a little special place in our hearts for it. Before our babies came along we were there at least a few times a year. We know the back roads like the back our our hands, know the "locals" places to eat, and even have our own special dealer who we are seriously on a first name basis with... We LOVE that place. And it's not just the gambling, or partying, that's not the (only) reason we go. It's the weather, it's the atmosphere, it's the lights, the bluer than blue sky, the memories of our wedding, the smells, the food...ahhh...2 more weeks. I can do this...

In the mean time, I've REALLY slacked on taking monthly pics of the kiddos, mainly Rhy Guy as he changes so quickly so fast. So, while Sissy was sleeping the other day I snapped a few, a few weeks after he turned 8 months).

Happy New Year!! {1 + month into it}

2011-02-08T20:42:00.003-06:00

I swear I had a post started about the new year and how I was going to write more, blah, blah, blah...well, being that this is February 8 and my FIRST post of the year, I think that just went right on out the door! Unfortunately, this year hasn't started as I hope it would business wise...I'm still stressed, still overwhelmed, STILL haven't posted my new prices, which I'm terrified that will make me lose clients, but something I HAVE to do. With the kids they are changing so much every day...So...to start out the "New" Year...I'm going to start out the new "month" and just take it week by week and see how this goes! lol

Rhyder - Wow, he's big. And I know he's really not that big for his age, but he's the size now at 7 months, that Kyndall was at 1 year. So he seems huge to me. He's rolling over pretty good now...he can even get back over when he gets stuck on his tummy and starts to panic a little...Eating 3 meals a day with a bottle in between, and I even started him on some kind of "NumNum snack" thingys that of course he devours in no time at all. He's FINALLY sleeping through the night most nights, and that just started pretty much in the past week or two. As long as I fill up the tank RIGHT before he goes to sleep, he makes it through the night, waking up around 6:30 am. He's had his first couple of ear infections, and teething like a maniac although no teeth coming through just yet.

Kyndall - Doing GREAT in school!! Learning so much, so many fun songs! Right now her playlist includes: Jesus Loves Me, ABC's, You are my Sunshine, Twinkle Twinkle, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Ring Around the Rosies...(as she runs in circles), Pat-a-cake...and I know there are more that I'm not thinking of. She's speakin GREAT in sentences and I get such a kick out of having an actual conversation with her. She's also counting to about 15 in English and SPANISH! ;) She's so amazing.

As for me and Dustin....his racing is going...he's always working on his car so it better be going good!! He won rookie of the year last year, and this year we are REALLY looking forward to the fact that his car class has made an agreement with the track just a few miles from home in Highlands so there won't be the long drives to Edna as much! And I won't be all fat and prego so I will be able to make some of the races! We are both super excited to take Kyndall to her first race...she's either going to be terrified or she's going to love it...only time will tell!!! I'm hanging in there. A huge ball of stress and anxiety most days, but I really do loving having a "job" that I love and being home with my babies. I'm having to get my gallbladder taken out on the 18th, which I'm actually looking forward to so that I can stop feeling so miserable pretty much every time I eat.

And Penny...our almost 2 year old Corgi...she is still about the same size she was at one year and definitely acts the same as she did then as well...no where NEAR coming out of the "puppy" phase...She is totally like having another 2 year old...oy vey...

Ok...I think that's a recap of the past month for us....Stay tuned and see if I return soon??!

22 - no wait - Day 21 of Giving Thanks

2010-11-05T04:09:00.002-05:00

Well, I've already ruined this whole deal and missed a day...so I got up bright and early to make sure that I didn't miss today!! NOT!! My sick and stuffy (although only a cold) baby boy had me up, and I told myself that I would get work done now, and sleep later {famous last words of a fool}.

Day 3/23 - My Husband. :)

We've had some really crazy times, some really fun times, and some really hard times...However, we are a month away of being together for 11 YEARS...11 YEARS! Crazziness!! And it has honestly flown by - in a good way of course. We are in a place now where I NEVER thought I'd be. I'm a SAHM, running my own photography business (seriously?!) and raising two kids (seriously?!)...but I love every minute of it - well, most minutes of it - and although that nice, fat, paycheck would be awesome sometimes, seeing my babies play and learn makes it all worth it. And it's because of him that that paycheck isn't a necessity...he works so hard to take care of all 5 of us (gotta include Penny) so that I can be home with my babies. My husband has been my rock through some really bad times, and my reason for my craziness during others. He's both calmed me when I'm pissed, and MADE me pissed. But all in all, he's the best. There wasn't a lot of work last night, and he made the decision to stay home with me, and it was so nice to just veg on the couch together after the kids went to bed early, then go to bed at a decent hour. I can't remember the last time we were both in bed by 11...which is probablly why I'm still up an hour after Rhyder has gone back to sleep! I love you Honey!!!

Time to get some work done. He's off to his job, and I'm off to mine.

Sabrina

25 - No, wait - 23 days of Thanks

2010-11-03T10:26:00.002-05:00

I've seen a few friends doing this as their status updates on Facebook, and thought it would be a fun idea for my blog. From now until Thanksgiving I am going to write about things that I am thankful for...no matter how big or small...I will note the ones that first come to the top of my head to the ones that I feel every day in my heart. I'm a little late starting this, and have no idea if I will be able to stop each day and blog, but I'm sure going to try! And these will be in no particular order...

Today 11/3 - I'm thankful for coffee (thanks Kayla! ;)) I truly feel that it makes the world a better place. How many people do you know that HAVE to have coffee first thing in the morning...otherwise their day (and their mood) is crap. If there wasn't coffee to wake them up, and change their mood (most people anyways) then I think everyone would be a bit more mean...Just a thought.

Halloween 2010

2010-11-01T11:57:00.010-05:00

Just want to make it short and sweet then share some pics...

I was just trying to remember last year's Halloween...we really didn't do much besides take K to Michael's for a craft party and costume contest, and I really can't remember what else we did with her..."how sad" I know...ALL that I can remember from last Halloween, was that a week before that we went to our cousin's Halloween Party and I was miserable, and felt fat and bloated all night long. I didn't even drink much because I felt so sick...I was exhausted and went to bed early while the party was still going on downstairs...the next day I threw up at the sight/smell of chicken, and took a pregnancy test a few hours later when I got sick again...and well...this year was Rhyder's first Halloween...

This year was Kyndall's first year to actually know what's going on (even though it was nice her not knowing about the whole candy deal...) with Trick or Treating. We took the kids up to the mall because we aren't quite ready for her to go door to door, and we had so much fun! She was so great, and knew after the first few stores how the whole trick or treating thing worked.

To Vent, or not to vent...

2010-10-28T20:04:00.004-05:00

Since I've started my photography business, it seems I'm always on my toes as to watch what I say and write about so that I don't piss anyone of for upset them. However, through the past week of up and downs with my clients I've finally decided to vent.

99.9% of my clients I love. I feel like they are my family at times, and some have even become good friends. They are awesome. Then there are other clients, ones who expect more for nothing, and take advantage of me along the way, seeming like they don't care that in addition to being a photographer, I'm also a person.

I am a mother. I have feelings. I have emotions. I have compassion. And sometimes because of these things I let myself get taken advantage of. I am a photographer both in spite of these things and because of these things. Photography is VERY emotional and intimate. As photographers, and like other artist, when we put our work out there on the web for clients to see, its with the pride of showing off our newborn baby, yet the anxiety of walking down the street naked. Baring your soul in a way. What we do comes straight from our heart, and into your home...and that's why we do it. And when you treat us wrong, are rude, disrespectful, arrogant, or take advantage of us, it breaks our heart. There are times I can't stop smiling from the kind words from a client, and they literally stay with me all day. In the same way, a clients rudeness can stick with me as well.

Another photographer, Alana Hawker, posted this blog a few weeks ago, and I can't get it out of my head. It's so, so, SO true.

http://blog.photographybyalanahawker.com/2010/10/5-things-your-photographer-is-and-5.html

OK. There. I said it, I'm done.

Just please be nice to your photographer.

And tip your server at least 18%.

Oh - and you know what...don't flip us off in pics...we see EVERYTHING in editing.

Why? Why Not...

2010-09-22T00:47:00.005-05:00

So last night while at the mall, we grabbed a cookie, and the cookie shop was taking donations for the LLS - or Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. We got to talking about the upcoming light the walk, however, I have a wedding booked that evening - which I've had booked for MONTHS now - so I wasn't going to be able to make the walk. However, the employee mentioned that there was another one in October, on a Sunday. Right away I knew that I had to do this. I've been wanting a way to give back and help out.

So...
I started this team to help bring awareness to the blood cancers that so many are affected by...and while they are not out there in the news and public as other types of cancer, such as breast cancer, then still affect millions and millions each day...each hour...each minute. And I am one of them.

Towards the end of 2008, early 2009 my Mother (Becky Clinard - one of the reasons for the name "Team B") was diagnosed with Lymphoma, and after losing my dad to Melanoma which had spread to his brain and lungs in 2004, I was determined not to let this happen again...and at the same time I was terrified. Here I was with this brand new baby girl who we had prayed so long for, and facing the reality that my mom may not be around to see her grow. I honestly can't remember when the treatment started, but I want to say it was around the holidays, Thanksgiving maybe? And she was finished up right around Kyndall's 1st Birthday. That was in mid 2009, and by the grace of God, she has been in remission for several months, in fact...I believe it's been about a year now, if not super close to it. We were all very lucky that her doctor found it VERY early on and was prepared to treat it as soon as possible. My mother is a strong, and independent woman, and I knew she HAD to beat this. For her, for me, and for my babies. She was my rock, and as selfish as it sounds I can't even begin to imagine her not being here, I would be too much for me, I have to have her here. I firmly believe that it is her strength, and our faith, that got us through one of the roughest years of my life (had a baby, lost my job, watched my mom go through treatment, etc.). We'd talk and I would just breakdown, and she would remain so incredibly strong. She's such an amazing woman.

When I heard about this walk the first time, I knew that I had to do it...only I couldn't because of a prior commitment, then tonight when I heard about there being another one - even though it's further out of town - I knew that I had to rally up the troops and help raise money for a causes that couldn't be any more near and dear to my heart...

So I ask you...plead...beg...pray...coerce....please take part in this journey with me. Either by joining my team, Team B, in walking in the Light the Night by visiting my team page, or making a donation to my personal page.

Please pass this information along to any one and everyone, so that we can all help raise money to help out these families of those affect by Leukemia and Lymphoma. I can think of millions of reasons why to join and help us fund raise for this event, with my mom being one of them, and not a single one why not to...

My Chunky Monkey

2010-09-15T15:18:00.002-05:00

Finally!! Weeks after his 2 month visit...well, actually only 2...Here is the 2 month update on my little Chunky Monkey (and a few on my not so chunky monkette).

Rhyder weighed in at a WHOPPING 12.2 lbs - vs Kyndall weighing a lb under that at her 4 month visit! That puts him in the 75-90% range. His length, is just as crazy at 24", which again puts him 75-90% range...it blows my mind that I have a baby this big!! Mind you he's probablly pretty close to average, but being that Kyndall was always tiny, this is huge! He's really starting to turn on the charm, smiling and cooing and such. So handsome, and still such a sweet Momma's boy. I love it.

He's barely sleeping through the night, and by barely I mean rarely...He's batting about 60%, sleeping through the night - 9am to 5pm - about 4 nights of the week (not sure if that's really 60% or not...but it sounded good.)

He has the sweetest, prettiest, light blue eyes...although I think there may be a possibility of them turning a light green.

He's cooing, smiling and laughing. All which continue to melt my heart.

And Kyndall FINALLY broke the 22lbs mark!! She's now a little over 23lbs!!! She had been stuck at 22 since January...which was her 18 month visit!

Here's a few pics of my babies from Rhyder's 2 month "session".

Perfection

2010-09-09T10:06:00.003-05:00

Sometimes, while I'm doing a session I will come across a shot that I know is just going to be perfect. The lighting, the subject, the composition...everything is perfect and I can't wait to get home and take a look.

Well, yesterday I was trying to get a few pics in for Rhyder's 2 month birthday while Kyndall was napping. She ended up waking up and coming in to join us and I got this gem of a shot. Technically it's ok...but blurred which, sharpness in a photo is one of my biggest pet peeves. But it blows me away every time I look at it. I am so truly blessed. It's perfect. (btw - more of the pics and info on Rhy's 2 month visit coming soon!)

Wordless Wednesday - Hipstamatic

2010-09-01T12:00:00.003-05:00

Friday Fill-Ins!

2010-08-14T00:39:00.002-05:00

1. Music makes me smile.

2. COFFEE is what I like first thing in the morning.

3. The first thing I said this morning was: Hi baby! to Kyndall when she came into our room because it was time for me to get up.

4. Italian; it's what's for dinner tonight.

5. It's all been good.

6. Sleeping is what I feel like doing right now, but man I need to get some editing done.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to cars and brides!, tomorrow my plans include going to watch my hubby race and Sunday, I want to rock it at Annie's Bridal Session!

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Sabrina

"Life, love and Motherhood"

2010-08-12T16:22:00.002-05:00

I think about this a lot believe it or not...how my blog doesn't actually fit the title what I write about very well, because all that I write about is Motherhood, Motherhood, and Motherhood...so maybe I should change it's name. But, then that would lead to me having to create a whole new top part of my blog and who has time for that?!

So...today's topic is love. My husband specifically. I love him. Immensely. We've totally had our ups and downs the last few years, more than ever before. The sad thing is that it really started when Kyndall came along, not that it's her fault, because she's amazing. But having a kid does something to a marriage. Either makes it amazingly better...or really hard. And for us, Kyndall made it really hard. Bills happened, then I lost my job and made the decision to stay home with her...which made those bills that were happening, even harder to deal with.

Then another kid came along, TOTALLY unexpected...and something happened again. He's made our marriage amazingly better. Now, don't get me wrong, there were some REALLY rough times while I was pregnant. Really bad. But in the end we made sure that each other knew we were going to stick it out for our babies. Rhyder is here now, and we feel so whole. We are a family of 4 now, and this is how we are meant to be. We know how to handle our baby together, and we know how to handle the parenting of our 2 year old. But most importantly, we know how to handle our marriage.

So I love him. He gets on my nerves. He drives me nuts. He does things I wish he didn't. But I still hate to see him walk out the door to work everyday, and I still get butterflies when I get that call saying he's on his way home for the night.

"I love him. I love him for the man that he wants to be and I love him for the man that he almost is. I love him Laurel"

Sabrina

Momma's don't let your babies grow up...

2010-08-04T11:52:00.006-05:00

ok...so maybe mine aren't Cowboys...yet. ;)

But they sure are growing up fast! Rhyder was a month old on Monday and as I did with Kyndall I'm trying to take a few minutes and snap a few pictures of him every month on his birthday.

BREAKING NEWS!!!

I was going to post a few of those, but my newborn session sneak peek is up...and I just have to share them instead!! Once again, the work of the AMAZINGLY TALENTED, Mindy Fuller of Ree Photography! So, the 1 month shots will have to be for tomorrow!

Man I love my family, and am so, so, SO blessed by the hands of GOD!

Finding Shade

2010-08-03T12:13:00.004-05:00

One of my favorite albums, from one of my favorite bands.

For some reason, I was thinking about this post, and what I wanted to call it, since I already knew what I wanted to write about and the words "finding shade" just wouldn't get out of my head. Then I realized how it made perfect sense...

Since early this year (late last year) I spend a lot of time struggling to keep my business up. If it wasn't one thing is was another with my pregnancy. It pretty much started in December when I spent a week in the hospital for DVT, then spent the next few months sick as a dog with "morning" sickness. Which, eventually started to fade and was replaced by kidney stones, and preeclampisa...then made it's return towards the end. So, needless to say it was a rough 8 months or so. Unfortunately, I let it affect my business. My return times grew longer, I had to cancel and rearrange more sessions than I would have liked (I would have liked to have to move zero - so I guess that last statement doesn't really make sense.), making trips to the post office got harder and harder the further along I got, and I'm pretty sure that I lost a client or two along the way - which totally breaks my heart. {{SIDENOTE: The post office is still a struggle, especially with a infant and a toddler, its so hard to have to get them in and out of the car, then stand in line to ship prints and disks. And unless you're a parent...I don't think you get the full idea of the pain in the ass that it is to get 2 kids out of a car to go inside somewhere for 3 minutes...}}

Once Rhyder arrived I had several people tell me that my work was going to have to suffer, that I wouldn't have time, I would be too tired to work, I wouldn't have anyone to watch them when I had sessions, etc. Which are all valid points, but I didn't want to hear or believe them. All I kept thinking was that I will have plenty of time to work because he will just sleep at first...and I have always operated just fine on very little sleep. Then about halfway through my "maternity leave" I got this strong NEED to be back behind my camera, and to spend night after night editing away. True, I could have just spent the time taking pictures of my kids, but its soooo not the same. For one, they don't sit still for you the way they do others, and for two, I for some reason lose all my creativity when trying to take shots of my son (which that's what my photographer is for, right?!)

Then the day finally came...my first session back. Which actually, I had 3 sessions the same weekend, so I hit the ground running! I had so much fun, and it felt so good and so right to be back to doing what I love. Not that I don't love being a mommy...but every mommy needs a break. I came back to "work" with a different outlook on it, and have SO many ideas for my clients and business in the next few months, and going into next year.

Through my entire pregnancy there was always something going on...draining my energy, wearing me down inside and out...taking away my sunshine. Then I found some shade. My chance to take the break that I needed out of the heat from the sun (literally and figuratively). And once that break was over, I was ready for the sun again! To bring me that happiness and rush that comes from leaving a session with such a great feeling, and then seeing how happy you just made that client when they get a peek of their pics. This is why I do what I do. When there is sun out, there is always shade somewhere...and that's a good spot. :)

Introducing...

2010-07-14T18:35:00.004-05:00

Rhyder Nocona Bowen

Born July 2nd, 2010
8:32 am
6lbs
19 inches

It's amazing how just when you think you can't possibly love anymore then you do...someone else comes into your life and proves that you do indeed still have TONS more love to give. This little man is amazing, so sweet, and already the momma's boy I'd hoped he would be!!!

I think Kyndall has fallen for him as well...

Wordless Wednesday - Naptime

2010-07-14T11:45:00.001-05:00

1 day, 18 hours, 26 minutes...

2010-06-30T13:06:00.003-05:00

...until our sweet baby boy FINALLY arrives!!

I know that I shouldn't be so whinny...but I am. I'm pregnant, and miserable, and entitled to it. My bed rest will only be a total of about 2 weeks, and that's off and on with only this last week strict and several days in a row...especially when a good friend of mine did it for MONTHS...not a few days, not a few weeks...MONTHS. IN A HOSPITAL THE WHOLE TIME. Soooo not fun... Plus, I'm delivering 2 weeks early...when again, a lot of friends that have recently had babies have gone days, WEEKS past their due date, and I'm getting to go early. So, really, I know I shouldn't be complaining. But again...the prego card I'm holding in my right hand allows me to do this. And do it a lot.

So, Friday morning, @ 7:45 am, I will be wheeled into the delivery room to meet Mr. Rhyder Nacona Bowen. :) Can't wait... For one reason, I'm REALLY counting on him to be a Momma's Boy...just like Kyndall is such a Daddy's Girl...it's only fair for me to have one to myself too right?!

Friday Fill In

2010-06-04T12:26:00.003-05:00

1. Las Vegas, NV is my favorite place to travel to.
2. When I think about my childhood, I often remember summer days spent in the pool.
3. A good sense of humour makes for a good friend.
4. The wind in the trees, the rain on my skin, makes me want to run inside and dry off...
5. Waiting on the arrival of my little boy is so exciting!
6. My best friend knows the right things to say at the right time (well, most of the time anyways).
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Dustin going out of town, tomorrow my plans include spending the day alone, and possibly a dinner with friends and Sunday, I want to sleep late!

Favorite Shot Friday

2010-06-04T10:53:00.003-05:00

Although - there really isn't a favorite, because I love them all...and these weren't taken by me...

About a month ago we had our Maternity pictures done by Ree Photography. We've used Mindy for about 2 years now (actually almost exactly 2 years), for our maternity with Kyndall, her newborn pictures and her 6 month pictures. We have 2 walls of her work in our house. That's how much we love her! :) She did an AHHMAZING job as usual with the pictures, just had to post a few for Grandma to see...and anyone else who doesn't have FB where I've already been showing them off.

{This was towards the end, and Kyndall was just about done for the day...until we gave her a cracker...then we got a few extra minutes out of her...but she had to have cracker in hand.}

{My FAVORITE shot of the day...this is so Kyndall. Jumping in the way when she sees a camera to say cheese}

{Ok...I lie, this one may be my favorite. Seriously...how cute is she?!}

Friday Five

2010-05-28T13:06:00.004-05:00

1. Is there something you've always wanted to try but just can't muster up the courage to actually do yet? Learn to sew!!! I'm pretty crafty and can do everything but...I really want to make a quilt for Kyndall out of some of her old outfits from her 1st year, but I have no idea where to start! (Other than with a sewing machine.)

2. If you had $100 handed to you in cash without your significant other knowing about it, what would you spend it on? Oh wow...Starbucks would be the first top, then since it's in the same shopping center as Hobby Lobby...well...I wouldn't be able to resist. Actually, I'd probablly spend it on Kyndalls birthday present, then tell him about getting the money afterwards.

3. What was your favorite piece of playground equipment as a child? I don't really remember having a favorite! dangit...

4. Do you prefer a sweet or hearty breakfast? A little of both.

5. Are you a Neat Freak or a Messy Bessy? A total mess. My poor husband...

Sabrina

Don't forget to come on over to my "other" blog as well!

http://www.southerngracephotog.blogspot.com/

Ready or Not

2010-05-28T12:34:00.007-05:00

So...if Rhyder doesn't decide to come before then...his given date of arrival will be July 2, 2010!!!

We are scheduled for a 7:45 am c-section that morning. Can't wait! This whole pregnancy has been such a challenge. Starting with the day I found out, which was a random pregnancy test at 12:30 am because the smell of chicken made me sick...and from then on, everything made me sick. Then at 8 weeks, I was put into the hospital for a week after several blood clots were found in my left leg. I've been having to see 2 doctors the whole time, my regular OB, Dr. Holste and my Perinatal OB, Dr. Hare (who I swear is Dr. Miranda Bailey in the flesh). Those first 8 weeks were followed by several more of sickness, and worry about my leg. Then at about 30 weeks, I got a kidney stone, which hung around for about 2 weeks, and had me in the hospital another 3 days off and on during that time....so, I'm ready to be D-U-N!!!!

{{His arrival date is also one that will always be in the back of our minds for other reasons - but I just can't bring myself to write about it...Let's just say that hopefully his arrival will bring a new joy to that date as well, as the sadness we feel when we think about.}}

This little boy has been such an unplanned surprise, such a pain, and such a BLESSING!!! I can't wait to meet him. I finally feel a sense of peace with his room, and all the things that we have for him. I was so stressed and worried for a while, but now I'm finally feeling good about it. I feel ready.

Oh - AND - I have my business blog up and running again, so check it out, and pass it on!!!

http://www.southerngracephotog.blogspot.com/

Just an update...

2010-04-13T10:22:00.002-05:00

I don't think I've done an update on Kyndall here in a while, and the fact that she just said "thanks" to me, reminded me to jump on and just note a few things. Well, that and the fact that as I was working in her baby book last night, I realized that I needed to print this out to update some of the fields! Who knew that when I started this I would be depending on it, more than the actual book...

We went to her 18 month visit a few weeks ago (a few months late, btw. But hey, that's just me right?) and her height was 33 1/2" and her weight still hanging out around 22 lbs. Poor thing. She's growing, I just don't know where! She's still in 18 months clothes (some too big) and she's almost 22 months old. She eats well when she wants...other times it may take her days before she eats a full meal. I also think that this could be from her getting picky about what she eats now too.

She's talking ok. Of course I'm so worried about it because of her early hearing problems, and the hole in her eardrum. But she's talking none the less. Right now her vocabulary, exists of A LOT of "mommy". A LOT. And of course Daddy. She loves to point him out in pictures, where as she just acts like I'm not even there standing with him. She's such a Daddy's girl.

Just off the top of my head, other words she's using right now are:
puppy
please
release (trying to get a toy from Penny)
outside
inside
hat
pee pee poo poo (yes, she combines it all)
PaPaw (no grandma yet...)
Snickers
more
She had thank you down, but not sure where it's gone...

Wordless Wednesday - Drinking while Cleaning

2010-03-31T11:42:00.000-05:00

Ten for Tuesday

2010-03-30T09:34:00.002-05:00

So...while I was planning on blogging about K's 18 mth dr visit yesterday, and posting a few pics of how much she LOVES markers...This caught my eye and distracted me. But, now I have a reason to blog again tomorrow! :) (Ok, maybe NOT tomorrow, but at some point this week.)

1. What television character do you identify with? Probably Phoebe, not that I really identify with any certain situation with her, but I'm a ditz. And I know it. I forget everything and will lose anything.

2. Describe your morning routine. Not sure if I really have one, other than get up when Kyndall decides she's ready to get up, make her breakfast and cup of milk then set her down in from of the TV for Blue's Clues. (Which she's now saying and making the hand gestures. I love it.) Depending on how much energy I have I either lay on the couch for another hour, or get up and check FB and emails.

3. How do you do lunch? I do lunch at a fast food place as much as money and my husband will let me. Otherwise it's a sandwich or left overs for both me and Kyndall.

4. What is one moment that, although seemingly trivial at the time, changed your life? Meeting my husband at a night club. Never gave him a second glance and really never cared if I ever saw him again...After a few tries on his behalf through a mutual friend, I finally gave him my number. And that was 10 1/2 years ago...

5. Name your top three beauty products. Ha ha! This is funny. I could care less about beauty anymore. 1. Body Wash, 2. Shampoo, 3. acne treatment.

6. What do you do when you’re alone in the car? Although this hardly happens...on that one day a week when it does as I'm going to a session, I have the music on 94.5, and cranked up. If its a half decent day, windows down a bit, and sunroof wide open.

7. What is the ideal city for you to live in? Las Vegas....ha. Really, though I love being out west. The dry air, the sunshine. Just love it. So, maybe not Vegas, but somewhere close to it. Maybe even Phoenix, or Taos.

8. Are you waiting for something? I'm waiting on a few things...my nursery bedding to arrive, a couple of PayPal payments, and all kinds of things baby related.

9. What was the last shocking news you heard? Ricky Martin is gay!!! lmao! Kidding. Can't think of the last "shocking" thing I heard.

10. What are three things you wouldn’t do for a million dollars? 1. Anything that would negatively affect my family, 2. umm...and I think that's about it! HA!

What are your 10 for Tuesday?? Find more here! http://rootsandrings.wordpress.com/2010/03/30/ten-on-tuesday-24/

Are YOU worthy?

2010-03-08T11:38:00.002-06:00

The thing I love about blogging is that sometimes there is that perfect blog out there on that not so perfect day, that makes things ok. Even if for a minute, and hour, or just the day. You read it and take it to heart, and it makes you just try a little harder to better yourself.

Today's blog from Brene Brown, Oridnary Courage, has a great message. Especially since I've been feeling a little fat, and lazy lately with the pregnancy.

I for one, am guilty of quite a few of the "prerequisites" she lists, as well as soooo many more. But mainly, I just want to be able to keep up with house work, while keeping up with my kid, and marriage going. Who knew being a stay at home mom was so hard!? While I wouldn't trade it for a day of a "real" job again, I would trade it for a nice vacation! ;) Sometimes, I wonder if being at home has made be feel a lot more vulnerable to these "prerequisites". I certainly don't always feel like I have the meaning that I used to, or the feeling of accomplishment as often. I truly know there is so much more meaning to what I'm doing now - raising my daughter, and running my own business then - then doing Admin type stuff at a desk job in a corporate environment...but most days it just really doesn't feel like it. I know I am worthy of so much more then I set out for, or put my mind too, its juts that feeling of "unworthiness" that seems to be a mental block and stop me from setting out on so much more.

Take a visit to Brene's blog and sign up to win a copy of her new DVD...and maybe even find yourself thinking about and working on you're own worthiness in the mean time. I know I'm going to.

~Sab

Friday Fill-In - Happy Friday!!! :)

2010-03-05T11:13:00.002-06:00

1. Why are you making it so hard for me to get a nap in today?
2. I want you to take a nap!!!
3. One day I will be the boss of the house...then it will be on my terms.
4. Crawl out that doggy door one more time and see what happens.
5. I could use a VACATION.
6. I so need to do dishes, my house smells like onions, and then maybe even vaccum.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to nothing really, tomorrow my plans include working and taking care of Kyndall and Sunday, I want to watch the NASCAR race.

2am Wake up Call

2010-03-01T12:36:00.002-06:00

This morning, the hubby and I got a 2 am wake up call...Kyndall in our bed and "talking" to us in her own little language. She has been sleeping in the guest bed, a full size one, for weeks now. She got to the point where she wouldn't want to be in her crib for anything, and she sleeps so great in that bed. So, until we get it moved into her room, that's where she sleeps. She normally wakes up a little fussy and starts to make her way to our room and I hear her over the monitor...but this morning she woke up in a great mood, and came right in and jumped in bed with us...

Because of her late nap that turned into us putting her down for the night, she was up for a few hours after that 2 am wake up call. Guess who gets to get up with her and play and watch Noggin @ 2am??? Fantastic.

So the waking up Mommy and Day on her own begins...

Wow!

2010-02-19T20:48:00.002-06:00

I've been sooo great about keeping this thing up! FINALLY finished up the tons-o-editing from the Valentines Day Mini's, so I'm getting a chance to breath! Ahhh...

Now, back to my other job of raising my nutty daughter. Here are a few quick shots of her in her Valentine's Day best. Well, maybe not...I've tried the upload 4 times and its not working...

So, Kyndall's newest thing, well other than standing on tables, and getting into drawers...is climbing out the doggy door with Penny. Then playing on her swing and slide like she did absolutely nothing wrong. That's my girl.

Oh yeah, and for those who didn't see the big FB announcement. We're having a boy!!! Ryder will be his first name, which is a name that we talked about using before we were even married. So, blessed to finally be able to use it!!!

Ooooh! Potty update!!!

2010-01-29T07:28:00.003-06:00

So, we've been doing great with the potty! Well, what I consider great for an 18 month old!

And this may be TMI - but if you actually read my blog much you're probably a mommy too and aren't scared of anything anymore!

We made 2 potty attempts yesterday - well, 3 but one was on the big potty at my Mom's and she just wasn't having that - and both were successful! Most importantly, the 2nd one I was out of the bathroom for and she c0mes into the room where I'm at, with her pants pulled up, and a big smile on her face. I thought she just didn't want to be in there alone, so she gave up and came to find me, but nope...there was a little puddle in the potty! I was so proud of her! All on her own, with out me sitting there making her stay sitting and trying to coax it out of her. We may just have this potty training thing down by July after all! (knock on wood!)

Happy Friday!!!

2010-01-29T07:19:00.004-06:00

Although, I can't remember the last time I really cared it was Friday...you know, since weekends don't really exist for us. Neither of us have the 8-5, Monday - Friday jobs. So, when the weekend is here, it feels like just another day for us. Nothing significant about looking forward to the weekend (unless I have sessions!), or thankful because it's Friday. That's kinda sad... But while I miss the excitement that comes with a TGIF, I sure as heck don't miss those Monday Morning Blues (or rush hour traffic. UGH.)

So, here is my Friday Fill In! One of the few things that makes Friday a different day then the rest of the week.

1. Wouldn't it be easy as adults we still had a summer break...heck even a spring break would be nice!
2. The yard is getting watered better than ever!
3. I love the taste of an Issac Roll.
4. There is chaos in the living room.
5. The first thing we're going to do is clean the kitchen.
6. I love the sound of drip, drip, drip; ahh, wonderful coffee.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting a lot of editing finished, tomorrow my plans include my first Boudoir Party and Sunday, I want to have a great Senior Session!

Have a great weekend for those who still get to celebrate it! lol!

Big girl time!

2010-01-25T12:50:00.004-06:00

Bottle - check! 11 months...

Binky - check! 18 months...

Potty - In progress!!!

Well, it's been a week since the last time Kyndall had her binky and I'm sooo thankful to my mom for finally getting it started! Thank you Mom!!!! Grandma just didn't give it to her when she was over at Grandmas a week ago, and except for one little naptime moment a few days later, she's been binky free since last Monday!

Hmm...wonder if Grandma can work her magic again next weekend on the potty????

Also - just wanted to give a quick 18 month update...since she was officially 18 months a few days ago.

Words - she's still not talking - well, understandably - a whole lot, yet she understands and follows directions with pretty much anything we tell or ask her to do. She does have a few words in her vocab and is adding new ones all the time. Right now, its a alot of Mommy, bye bye, uh uh, uh huh. And she does very well at saying most words after we tell her to like thank you, Nenny (Penny), night night, Papaw...and of course she has more but now that I'm on the spot I can't think of them!

Favorite Shot Friday

2010-01-22T11:31:00.002-06:00

I went to post my favorite shot here and my Vegas pictures from a few years ago came up. This was taken with just my little digital p&s before I got my DSLR and really knew what I was doing. (As if I do now!) This was just a beautiful day in the Nevada desert. I just happened to turn around from the Red Rocks sign we had stopped at for a photo op, and saw this. Love it.

Wordless Wednesday - Naptime

2010-01-20T13:48:00.002-06:00

Friday Fill-In # 1

2010-01-08T12:58:00.002-06:00

Friday Fill-In # 1 of 2010

1. There are places that I'd like to be right now instead of freezing my feet off at home.
2. Oh how I would love something to blow those clouds away.
3. Standing in the spotlight.
4. Boy oh boy.
5. He went out tiger hunting to pick up some trashy broads.
6. It's so hard to keep my mind from wandering when I'm trying to sleep at night.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to nothing, tomorrow my plans include trying to get some work done and Sunday, I want to get my session in!

I'm baaaaack!!!

2010-01-08T11:06:00.004-06:00

I have been going through pictures of Kyndall this morning and realized that I need to share so many of them!!! I know my mom used to look forward to reading this on a daily basis so that she could see what all Kyndall is up too, and I've really slacked on giving her that...so I'm back! Plus, I really wanted to use this as a kind of journal, and I haven't had that over the past few months.

Things have been going good since last September (which was the last time I posted! YIKES!), and we even found out in October that we are going to have another little addition to our household that will be here next July! TOTALY surprise, but such a blessing anyways! Especially since it took us a few years, and lots of struggles for Kyndall to come to us, and this one was - in search of a better term - an "oops"! :) Of course we are hoping for a boy this time, just to even out the count, but a girl would help even out the pocketbook since we already have so many girl things!

So, as a Welcome Back, here are a few recent pics of Kyndall and Penny getting into trouble. You'll have to excuse the first few, they are horribly lit, but I was in a hurry to get the moment!

~Penny at 9 months~

~Kyndall at 18 months~

Smartie pants

2009-09-04T23:08:00.001-05:00

I'm a photographer, not a videographer...so excuse the shakiness!

The Great Haircut Debate of 2009

2009-08-17T13:03:00.005-05:00

I fought my mom on this as long as I could...I did not want her to get a hair cut. Everytime my mom saw her she said she did...Even though it was coming down into her eyes anytime there wasn't a bow in it, and being that she only keeps bows in for about an hour and a half...this was most of the day. I just didn't want her to lose the length that makes her look girly (even though someone did call her a boy last weekend...I guess they didn't see the sparkley pink heart on her shirt).

So, I gave in and let my Mom's long time friend Katy give Kyndall her first "haircut". Katy also gave me my first hair cut about 29 years ago. However, all I would let her cut where her bangs (or "banks" as some refer to them), then even up the sides to blend in. We were left with only a TINY bit of hair for her book. But its ok with me...its out of her eyes, and that's what I wanted!

My child is a genius - Part 2

2009-08-12T13:18:00.002-05:00

Ok...so I have even more proof that my child is a genius...

She now knows her hair and nose!!! :)

My child is a genius...

2009-08-11T10:45:00.004-05:00

No really, she is. I am declaring her a genius. Now, I understand that all 1 year olds probably do a lot of the things she does, but being that she's my first, I say she's a genius. Need proof of my claim???

1.) she tries to plug in the extra a/v cables from the Xbox into the TV where the others are plugged
2.) she FINALLY called out to me saying "Mama" yesterday...she's being doing Daddy for an easy month.
3.) yesterday I asked her if she wanted bananas for lunch, and she answered "nanas?"
4.) she know how to ride her 4-wheeler all on her own (minus steering), and figure this out after us showing her for about 10 seconds what to push.
5.) she know how to buckle her own seatbelt

Oh yeah...and Penny, my 10 week old puppy is a genius as well...she's house trained since 7 wks! :)

Totally off subject...but for my own record! Kyndall FINALLY has teeth! And not just the one on the side on top! She's got 3 on bottom, and 4 on top! YAY!!! OH, and she's finally standing up on her own!!! She's been walking for months, but always grabbing on to something to stand up, now she's finally standing and walking on her own! No table or Mom's leg needed!

Wordless Wednesday - 4 wheels of fun

2009-08-05T21:05:00.004-05:00

Website is up!!!

2009-08-02T10:41:00.001-05:00

I've got a few great post about Kyndall coming up soon, being that she DID recently turn one!!!

Just gotta get this last business in! :)

I make the jump...have my own official website, and business cards, I feel so comitted now! And while I'm afraid, I'm loving it!

Take a few minutes to check it out, and pass it along!

www.southerngracephotography.com

A big thank you to everyone for all of your support and kind words as I dive into this!

Attention Please...

2009-07-28T11:24:00.002-05:00

To all my "followers"...yes all 12 of you...and those who I don't know about who read me...we shall call you "stalkers"...please jog on over to my new blog...still in progress, but there nonetheless, and follow it too!

http://www.southerngracephotog.blogspot.com
Not Southerngracephoto....like everything else because I screwed up and took that name then deleted the blog when I wanted to make it independant of this account (so there was more space for pictures)...but southerngracephotoG. With a G. Yeah, it sucks. But whadayado.

Please pass this along! I know I have a billion other sites, but I know there are several people (like my Mom) who don't have Facebook or MySpace but who do regularly view my blog, or have access to it without having to sign up for a special account.

Thank you and have a great day! :)

Finally a Friday Fill-In!!!

2009-07-24T20:36:00.002-05:00

1. I often thing that being late somewhere is not the end of the world.

2. Sitting here, listening to the sound of rain falling, I must be nuts, because its not raining.

3. Homemade buttercream icing tastes so good!

4. Sometimes, putting others first is easier then it should be.

5. My daughters smile is breathtaking, really.

6. Well, maybe there is a better way to handle my stress.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to editing, tomorrow my plans include a 2 year olds session and Sunday, I want to go to San Antonio (but I doubt it happens)!

Sab

People

2009-07-21T13:19:00.004-05:00

So, I'm a total believer that there are two types of people in this world...1.) dog people, and 2.) those who don't matter...ha ha...just kidding. Dog people, and non-dog people, and a non-dog person will never fully understand the love, admiration, and companionship that a dog offers. I am a TRUE dog person. I believe there is no other animal on this planet that is as smart as, loving as, or special as a domesticated dog. I've had dogs my whole life, and while I saw them come and go, I was never really that close to one, until my $50 Christmas present in 2000. My now husband, bought me (and what turned into us) Chynna. A 8 week old Pit Bull. For years we delt with the stigma that came with having a pit, we were bad people, she was a bad dog, pits were horrible, "why would we own one", etc. But every person that knew Chynna, and spent time with her knew that she was in no way like the ones you see on tv. The ones owned by horrible people, who have them more as showcases then dogs. But...don't let me go there right now...that's not what this is about...its about dog people remember????

Chynna taught both me and Dustin a lot. She taught a couple of kids responsibility, and a love that is never ending. Dustin never liked dogs, or animals really, before her. Now, he has such a heart for them, any animal, that I can only sit back and smile at how she changed him.

But, now that she's gone...I had this strong and growing need for that companionship and love again. Now...in dog people, I also believe that there are two types of dog people...those who can't be without a dog after a loss, and those who have to immediately have to have another. I found out that I have to have one...while Dustin needed time. Since I'm here alone at night, I really just needed that companionship that I was used to after Kyndall went to bed. I needed the sound of a bark where there was a noise outside to comfort me, I needed to hear that tail wagging when the door unlocked as Dustin came in from a long night at work. So, my wonderful and giving husband...gave up his wants and feelings, and into mine, and I (we) got a new puppy for an early birthday present (well, and from my mom too).

While she's not quite barking at the noises outside at night, or thumping her tail against the bed when Dustin comes in (it's cropped so she can't), she is still keeping me busy at night when he's gone and K's asleep. And I'm loving it.

Here's our new addition. A 7 week old Corgi named Penny.

Big steps...

2009-07-13T12:31:00.003-05:00

Well, its almost here...

My baby girl will be 1 year old on Saturday. It's amazing how everyone tells you it goes by too fast, and then it does, and you feel like you've been left standing in the dust, feet sunk into it like quickstand, being completely helpless as you watch time go by WAY too fast. There's something new each day, and I'm amazed by it all. And while I can't wait for the next step, I can!! She's got 2 bottom teeth, with one more on the way. One top tooth, although its not one of the front 2! Those aren't far off, but they haven't broken through yet. And the other side front tooth is close to breaking through as well. She's out little "snaggletooth". She's VERY close to walking. Although she's not standing up and taking off on her own yet, she has to use a table or other object to stand, then shes off for about 7-15 steps...or until she reaches her destination.

We got her big girl car seat on Friday, and although she's not offically one, we're thinking we've got to give it a shot. It's just too nice looking sitting here in the living room for her not get to use it yet! :)

Here's a little something that I like to call "Gracie in a Box" for your viewing pleasure...

Tag I'm it...

2009-07-07T16:28:00.002-05:00

Here are the rules:

1) Go to your photo files…Select the 6th photo folder.

2) Select the 6th photo in that folder.

3) Post that photo along with the story behind it.

4) Then challenge 5 blog friends to do the same!

Taking a picture of Denise taking a picture...Our beachhouse weekend, May 2007. Sorry...wish is was more exciting! LOL

I tag:

Times like these...

2009-07-05T21:19:00.005-05:00

I don't even know what to say or how to start. There's more to the story then I'm ready to talk about right now, but, simply put -we had to put my beloved and sweet puppy of almost 9 years to sleep on Friday. She was our child for so many years, and so much more to us then I ever knew a dog could be (and I grew up always having dogs).

She was our firstborn, our "Munchies", our "Boogies/Boogs/Booger Bear", my CHYNNA LYNN, when she was in trouble.

Our french fry sharer, and our front door Welcomer.

Our alarm system, and our protector.

Chynna was a special girl, and I hope that if, and when we decide to get another dog, we can find one with just a tiny bit of her personality and sweetness. She ruled the roost and she knew it, and we didn't care. She had the biggest heart, and was just filled with sass and personality! Even though she was almost 9, she never slowed down. And she LOVED her kong....

She will be missed so much. Our house just doesn't seem like our warm home anymore without her here with us. This sucks.

She was my daily annoyance when she wouldn't stop barking at the evil dog next door, and my warmth and comfort when I went to bed every night.

We really are devastated in every since of the word. We decided to do a private cremation, and are hoping that once we have her back on Wednesday, we will have a little more closure in know that she is back home with us.

Wordless Wednesday (almost) - Like Mother, Like Daughter

2009-07-01T08:54:00.002-05:00

I say almost, because I just had to share a little story about this onesie...

I went to the Starbucks by my house SO much during my pregnancy (for decaf of course), not only did they quickly learn my name, and my drink...but they also bought this for Kyndall. Along with a mini green Starbucks apron...

Not sure why she's not looking to happy here...she usually loves the camera!

Zoo day!!

2009-06-29T06:59:00.004-05:00

These are from while I was on "hitatus"...

After some debate, we decide to take Kyndall to the zoo. I say debate because I wanted to take her, and Dustin didn't think she was old enough to enjoy it yet. Being that I see how she reacts to any kind of animal while we are out, I thought she'd have a blast...turned out we were both kind of right...she loved some of the bigger animals, or ones like the monkey's that moved around a lot. But others, she just really didn't know what to think.

Ok...its official...I'm back (and a little crazy)

2009-06-20T10:36:00.002-05:00

Well, maybe not crazy, as just needing some help...After months of hiding denying that anything was wrong, and thinking that I would get better on my own, I finally saw a doctor about some of the things I had been dealing with. Just a complete feeling of being overwhelmed, not caring about the "little" things like bills, and chores, (my husbands feelings), just feeling very anxious anytime I was out with Kyndall - that she would cry, or fuss and I wouldn't be able to help her - (which has never happened, being that she's an excellent baby when out and about). I don't sleep at night because I am just waiting for her to wake up and need me, which again, she hardly ever does...All of these things and my lack of caring, or giving up, had lead Dustin and I to a rough patch in our marriage, and I can only pray that its God's will that we get through this. This is mostly due to these feelings and thoughts so I decided to finally "man" up and see a doctor. And she told me what I had really known all along...I had a classic case of PPD, or Post-Partum Depression. While, I'm nothing like some women with it who don't feel for their child, or want to harm them though....just to make that clear! :) I'm actually the complete opposite, I'm so into my daughter that nothing else matters. Not my husband, not our bills, not a clean house, not sleep...I'm have to make sure that she's 100% ok, all the time. Which I'm sure is any Mom, but mine seems to bring me to such an axiety, that I feel I'm always on edge, and always on the verge of a panic attack.

I can say that the medicine I'm on has made me feel so much clear headed, and I've even gotten a few good nights of sleep. My mind for so long (since I got pregnant) has just been a jumbled mess. I know that some of it is normal, but I just felt like mine wasn't. People noticed in just watching me day to day, that something was wrong, yet I couldn't admit to it. I could list all of the dumb things I did (or do), but it would be so long! You'd give up on reading it half way through! I used to be so organized, now I'm just a complete scatterbrain, unless its dealing with Kyndall of course. Her clothes are always done, her room is always clean, her closet is always highly organized, along with her drawers, diaper bags, toys, etc. But the medicine has gotten me off the couch. Back to cooking, and cleaning and taking care of ME and my HUSBAND, and not just Kyndall. There's time to take care of all of us, and I know that. I've known that. I just didn't want to. I wouldn't shower for a few days because I didn't want to leave her that long, or really just get off the couch. I wouldn't do laundry until we absolutely had nothing else to wear, not because there wasn't time, but just because again, I didn't have energy, or want to get off the couch. The doctor also attributes a lot of this to me not sleeping, I have never slept well, but I used to be fine on 4-5 hours a sleep a night. Now, I'm getting less than that, but I'm no longer fine on it. I have headaches daily, which are also part of the depression and not sleeping. I have noticed that the few days I got a good nights sleep, I was genuinely happy, and had a great day the next day...but its still a struggle to get myself to sleep, I'm working on it though!

So, why am I putting this out there for the whole world, and everyone I know to read???? I just want people to know that they aren't alone, I know that I can't possibly be the only person I know that's either dealing with this, or has dealt with it. But no one talks about it, or instead of getting help, they try and deal on their own. I've learned the hard way, that just makes things worse. I'm hoping that my marriage will survive this, and at the same time, I will come out a better person and a better Mom. But only time will tell. Looking back I just wish that I would have taken care of this 6 months ago, and maybe things wouldn't have fallen apart so bad.

Another short one...

2009-06-06T19:51:00.002-05:00

Just stopping in quickly to say hi again, and don't forget about me! I have some super cute pic's of Kyndall that I am going to attempt to post from email via my phone, we will see how and if that works...in the meantime, there are a lot of things going on right now...not sure I'm ready to write about them, or if there will even need to be a reason to write about them...but we shall see what God has instore for me, and in which direction he leaves me. After all, I'm putting this all in his hands...

I've had a great "vacation" with my bestfriend Mandie in College Station *spit*...but I had to take advantage of her moving back so close! Back to the real world and home sweet home tomorrow.

Could it really be???? Nah...

2009-05-31T11:53:00.002-05:00

I'm back!! Well...for one post....

I just looked and realized that I haven't posted since May 15....AWW! I'm so missing it too!

Problem is that we are currently without internet...well, let me rephrase that...we HAVE internet, its just not connected. I'm a big dumb dumb and during our switch of TV and internet providers, I forgot that we only have a cable jack in the room where the computer is, and we need a phone jack for DSL. A friend is supposed to come drop the line, and install the jack for us to save us some money (just costing a case of beer! ;) ), but of course I don't want to bother him too much about it since he's doing us a favor.

So, until then, the only internet we have is our new phones...which luckily, are a BB and an iPhone, so we are getting by ok...EXCEPT that I can't blog and post pics the same...

Gonna try to connect this blog to my phone so I can post from there, but we will see just how well that works! LOL

Once, we are reconnected, I'm going to work on keeping my newly created photography blog updated too...so, if you haven't started "following" that, go ahead and start, that way you can be ready when I am! :)

I miss ALL of my bloggy friends! I'll be back...sooner than later I hope...

And Mom, I know your missing the updates too...so I will post a special for you once I'm back up and running full speed.

AWARDS!!!

2009-05-15T04:50:00.003-05:00

I have awards coming up as soon as I get a chance to post them, so stay tuned!!!! :)

4:39....A.M.

2009-05-15T04:36:00.002-05:00

So, it's 4:39 am...and I'm up. And haven't slept. And in about 3 more hours, I will have been up for 24 hours...but, being that Kyndall will also be up in 3 more hours, does that even matter? I have a wedding to go to tomorrow at 11:00 and I can almost taste that iced venti nonfat upsidedown caramel machiatto with extra caramel....I mean the first one of the day. Because Lord knows I will need more than one to get me through...

Poor Kyndall seems to be coming down with something, maybe just a cold...but after the great visit with her ENT, and after 5 months of no ear infections, I'm so worried that as it pretty much always had, the cold will turn into one. She hasn't wanted to sleep tonight at all, and because I'm so worried about her waking up every hour, I haven't slept. And still can't sleep, because I'm waiting on her to wake up again at any minute. We headed out at 2:51 am (I've been watching the clock, can you tell???) we headed out, she was asleep in about 20 minutes...then...I sneezed. I tried to hold it back, but couldn't. So I did it. As quitely as possible, and as into my shirt as possible. Which I really didn't care about sneezing into my shirt at that point, I just didn't want to wake her. BUT, as soon as I did, she screamed, and cried. There went another 20 minutes driving around to get her back to sleep.

Oh, what joy. I just hope she doesn't get any worse. She's been really fussy the past few days, and that just worries me even more that it may be something more than a cold. But what REALLY gets me, its the little snotty nosed girl who put her hands on everything of Kyndall's while we were at the ENT who probablly gave this to her. I mean, EVERYTHING. Bottle, binky, hands, face, toys...you get the picture right? I told the girl several times in the most creative ways that I could to leave her alone...but she obivously didn't care. And her mom obviously didn't care either being that she didn't; A.) wipe her nose, B.) tell her daughter to cover her mouth as she coughed in my daughters face, or C.) GET HER KID AWAY FROM MY PERFECTLY HEALTHY ONE. Of course, I wiped her face and hands down with baby anitgerm wipes as soon as they walked away, but maybe I missed a spot.

I swear, if she gave Kyndall the pig/mexican flu. I will hunt her down.

Peace out. It's now 4:52 a.m. Since I'm watching the clock and all.

Wordless Wednesday - Cowlicks and puppy dogs

2009-05-13T13:59:00.003-05:00

HMD

2009-05-11T00:24:00.002-05:00

Happy Mother's Day to all of my readers who just happen to have the greatest job in the world!

AND to those who may just be Mom's come this time next year! :)

I'm watching

2009-05-08T21:32:00.004-05:00

Grab a hanky and read along....

I know I already posted today...twice. But there is just a lot going on in my mind at this moment that I need to get out. But unlike most of my post, this probably won't be so fun loving. Mom - don't read this at work...And if anyone else is hormonal (like me right now), don't read it. You will cry I promise. Sorry, to make you do that. But its just what's going on with me right now.

I just finished watching the episode of Grey's Anatomy from last night. Wow. I swear I cried for the last 10 minutes. Izzie's cancer hits home to begin with...and that episode for some reason just stabbed me right in the heart. My dad died 5 years ago on the 1st of this month, from melanoma that spread to his lungs and brain, and eventually the tumors in his brain are what he died from. They gave him a few weeks to live after they found the cancer, and he didn't even make it that long. So, last week as a tough one for that. Not a day goes by that I don't look at my daughter and wish that he was here with us. I know those two would get along so great. I do know he's here though, in spirit. He sees her, and plays with her, but she will never know her Grandpa. The fun loving man, with a loud voice, but a soft heart. I catch myself doing things that he did, like taping on the door instead of knocking and it just makes me smile. Call me crazy but I really believe he's the angel in the corner when shes staring at the wall laughing...So every since Izzie was diagnosed, this story like has just really struck me.

So, I've been crying over all that...

I recently started to follow another photography blog who is a husband and wife team, who I went to high school with (although I only knew the husband in high school.) The most recent post on the day I started to read it, was about this little boy named Johnathan. He was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive brain tumor last April, and after a year of surgeries and treatment, his parents made the decision to stop putting him through treatment after treatment, and let him enjoy what time he had left without being constantly sick. (Click here to read more about Jonathan and his parents brave struggle.) I am not sure of his age, but he can't be more than a few years old. I just could not imagine, nor do I want to, the strength that it took his parents to make that decision, even though I feel it was the right one. I had to stop and pray before I even finished reading his story. The strength and faith that God placed upon his parents is amazing. This precious little boy, lost his fight with cancer early yesterday morning, and I just continue to pray that God be with his family in their time of grief and loss.

Then there's that...

My mother was diagnosed with Leukemia at the end of last year,however the first signs of the cancer were found well before that. After losing my dad to cancer 4 years before, I really didn't know if and how I could go through it again. At the time we first found out about the cancer, I was still pregnant, and could not figure out how I would get through my daughter's life without my mom, so I just knew that she would make it through it. She had to. For me, for her, and for Kyndall. Several months later, we are towards the end, if not already there!! She's made it through 6 rounds of chemo since December, and actually GAINED weight! I would say that's excellent progress! At her last visit, her doctor found that the cancer that was in the bone in her shoulder and knee was gone, and that her blood levels were looking good. She still has to go back for another PET scan, as well as another bone marrow biopsy before she gets the all clear, but she's doing great, and feeling great. So, this Mother's Day, we are going to have to celebrate her life and health as well!!! She's an incredible woman, and although I didn't realize it until I got older (as most teenagers don't, right?) and even more incredible mother. I love you, Mom.

Ok, and there is one more part to this pity party...

This will be my first official Mother's Day. For 3 years, Mother's Day was always kind of hard for me. I wanted to be a mom so bad, yet it just wasn't happening for us. Every Mother's Day I would tell myself that maybe this time next year, I would be a mother. Well, its finally here. Last Mother's Day, I was around 30 something weeks pregnant, and so anxious and looking forward to the next year when she would be here, and I would officially be a "mother". I still just can't believe that I'm a Mommy, and that I finally get to celebrate a Mother's Day. After all of the things that have been on my mind the past few days, I have just been so overwhelmed when I look down at Kyndall, and how fast she's growing. Those gorgeous blue eyes, that sweet grin with the little dimple on her right side, her deep laugh that shakes her whole little body.

Moral of the depressing, I-now-want-to-go-drink-a-bottle-of-wine post? (which I didn't actually realize had one until the end)

No matter the losses, or the pain. God is Good. He gives us what He knows we need, and puts us through what He has to to make us the people we are. I know I'm a different person for all that I've been through the past few years. And while I don't say it enough, God has worked through me, and continues to. He shows new miracles each day, even though it may take some time before I see them. But I do see them. I'm watching God. Keep it up! :)

I'm off to eat some cookie dough, and have a glass of wine.

Scared $#^%less

2009-05-08T17:12:00.002-05:00

I'm nauseous. And its funny how whenever I start feeling bad, I always track back the days of my cycle to make sure I'm not preggers again..which I'm not, btw. But, its just something that I do. I also do it if I'm tired a lot, crave a certain food, eat more than usual (which is all the time), or get moody and cry over everything, (again, pretty much all the time). This time I kind of know why...and think its for a few reasons...

A.) I'm really excited about my first Mother's Day as an actual Mommy, and not just a Mommy-To-Be. And I know Dustin is up to something, and for once I don't know what it is, so its driving me nuts. Plus, I am really looking forward to spending the day with my Mom, who's done great with her Cancer treatment! This is a special one for both of us.

B.) I am having allergy issues, which lead to sinus issues, which when they start to drain (tmi? deal.) lead to nausea issues.

C.) I'm doing it again. Starting a big project/company.

It's the last one that I think is causing most of the upsetness, if that's even a word...(spell check says its not)

I do this from time to time. Decide I'm going to "start a business", then jump in and do it. Same with Dream Deals Travel, and same with my Mary Kay. Only, the travel lasted a year, and MK, not even a few months...so, who knows if this will last either right? Well, the main thing about this and those, its something I love. And have passion for. And by the way - my Husband also had a small business one time as well so I'm not the only crazy one. C & D Foundation Protect. They got a license and everything, even had pens made! YEAH! I know!!! High class all the way!!!

Back to point...

This "company" is for photography. As I said before, it really scares me to share my work. Now, don't get me wrong, its an AWESOME feeling when a client likes it...but its those few hours/days when you're waiting on seeing a response that makes me a freak out a little...And how do you know they are telling the truth, and don't just say it to make you happy? I know of people who have pics taken, tell people they are great, then tell me they don't like them. Are they doing that with mine as well? These are the things that I think of...a lot, and why I'm sitting here sick right now. I keep thinking...is my pricing ok? Are the pictures ok? How cheesy do people really think my pages are?

So as much as it makes me sick to know that lots of other people are seeing my work...it's also the only way to keep doing it! lol I mean really, how can you get clients if no one has a clue what you do?! I'm not shooting to make a million right now. Just get clients in, and make them happy so that they will pass on a good word and bring in more clients. Here's the big reveal.

Southern Grace Photography
www.southerngracephoto.shutterfly.com

www.myspace.com/southerngracephoto

Please pass this info along, (email, webpages, MySpace, blogs, whatever!) and help me to get a vacation this year! LOL Kidding...well, kind of. ;)

OH, and shot out to Breann - I already have a session with her, the hubby and adorable pups booked for next month! THANK YOU!

Friday Fill In #5

2009-05-08T15:21:00.002-05:00

1. Apples are to oranges as steak is to chicken.

2. Octomom is a nutjob, and that's all I have to say about that.

3. I think I hear a baby who's not taking their nap. (Wait, I KNOW I hear that.)

4. I pledge allegince to the flag.

5. Do what you want to do, but leave me out of it.

6. The boy was riding a bike and behind him was a Radio Flyer wagon; in the wagon was a bucket filled with acorns.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to boiled shrimp for dinner, tomorrow my plans include another senior session, and Sunday, I want to spend my FIRST Mother's Day with my mom, husband and baby girl!

On the move...

2009-05-05T08:17:00.002-05:00

It's official...shes on the move! This was only the second time she went anywhere...FORWARDS. She's all over the place now...time to buy the cage - ugh, I mean, circle o baby gates or I'm really never going to get anything done!

And since I'm on the subject...just some boring chit chat about us being on the move. We've moved our cell phones over to AT&T (so Dustin could get the I-Phone for work) and our cable and internet over to Verizon. I'm SO sick of bad TV service, and picture and paying $160 a month for cable...UGH. So, with Verizon we get DirectTV, a HOME PHONE (which I have really been wanting now that K is here), and internet all for $40 less a month! Not bad huh!? I'm excited. I've always like a picture from a dish, much better, despite losing signal sometimes...which we do with Comcast too...So, for those who are close...be on the look out for emails with new home phone information and a new email addresss.

Friday Fill-In # 4 and a Funny story to go

2009-05-01T10:48:00.005-05:00

1. The first rule of working in an office and getting along is wear deodorant.

2. Live clams.

3. When I think of carnivals I think of cotton candy and machine guns.

4. Bluebonnets are my favorite spring flower.

5. Things on my desk include a coffee cup, a baby bottle, and my camera.

6. The headache I have makes me wanna go lie down.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to laying low because I have a massive headache, tomorrow my plans include watching the live NASCAR and Supercross race, and Sunday, I want to beat out the rain for my scheduled Senior Session with Jacob!

And now onto the Funny Story part of today's post...

So, I'm killing myself over the thought that I don't have a picture or a video to go along with this because it was such a priceless moment in Kyndalls young babyhood. She's been a hot mess lately, and its been a struggle to get her to sleep, now that she can stand and sit up from laying down. She gets up and plays with whatever she can reach thats in her crib. This morning, I was determined to get her down, because I have a migraine and needed some rest. So I put her down. Then put her down again. Then Dustin put her down. Finally I said screw it, and left her alone (at the suggestion of a very wise woman - thanks Mandie!). I hear quiet so I'm thinking she's finally asleep. I peek through the door, and she's sitting up, first thought is oh crap, but at least she's quiet. Then I realize...its because she's asleep!!! She was sleeping sitting up, blankie in her hand and all. She was even doing the head bob. (You know the one we are all famous of doing, sitting in that meeting fighting off sleep, when your eyes droop, your head sinks down, then you realize oh crap, I'm asleep! So you jerk it up really fast?! Yeah. That one.) I ran to tell Dustin and of course was laughing so hard I was crying, he told me how mean I was and to lay her down and let her sleep right. And I did...right after going in there to watch and laugh again.

What can I say. That kid's go talent that goes beyond her years.

ATTENTION!!!!

2009-05-01T10:34:00.002-05:00

Teeth have arrived!!!

Monthly Update: Vol II

2009-04-28T10:32:00.004-05:00

I haven't had much time to play with the other two yet...

Like last month, not a lot happened this month until towards the end. What can I say, my kid likes to keep it exciting!

We had Kyndalls' 9 month visit last week, and while she's small, its nothing we didn't expect. As of last week, she has TWO teeth on the bottom (pics will come as they start to show better), and she's now pulling up and a monster in her crib.

Other things she's doing:
-taking her shoes off
-jumping up and down in her horsey (finally, I was worried that my $60 wasn't ever going to pay off)
-"talking", and babbling, pretty well. Occasionally says "dada", although I don't really know if its directed towards Dustin or not.
-her feet are starting to hang off her car set!

She was always very mobile while in the crib, we are always finding her in awkward and cute positions, that we sure didn't put her in. I've even put her down one way, checked on her and she was another way, checked on her again, and she was back to how I put her down...Houdini we call her...Anyways, I went into her room to grab her after her nap a few days ago, and she was sitting up in the corner, talking to her animals (yes, we let her sleep with big ol' stuffed animals, but have no crib bumper - that equals out the danger factor right???). That was the first time I caught her sitting up in there...then last night, at around 1:00 am (because I don't sleep) we hear her frog that she plays with go off, and start talking and singing his song about wanting to "twist". We walk in there, and she's sitting straight up in bed, just staring at him and laughing. GREAT. AND...not to mention...this...which I new was coming because she's been close a few times...

I was hiding on the floor behind the fishtank on this one...didn't want to distract her. But as always, she heard the camera and hammed it up.

If we could just get that pesky crawling deal checked off the list. Or as about 163 people have told me "some babies go straight to walking, and never crawl". We shall see about that...

When life gives you lemons...

2009-04-27T23:16:00.004-05:00

...make lemonade!

I recently got this award from my bloggin' buddy (and fellow southern gal) Brandi. (PS: Go check out her site so that you can vote for her little boy in a cute baby contest!)

The Rules of Accepting and Sharing this Award

1. Put the logo on your blog or post

2. Nominate at least 10 blogs that show an attitude of gratitude (I am lazy, I am only doing 5) <--- I'm with Brandi and doing 5 because I don't know 10!

3. Link to your nominees within your post

4. Comment on their blogs to let them know they've received this award

5. Share the love and link to this post and the person who nominated you for the award.

6. Tell us how you've come to have an attitude of gratitude.

Here are my nominees:

1. Jenny

2. Breann

3. Donald

4. Johanna

5. Denise

While the majority of my "attitude" isn't really any kind of gratitude at all, I do have a lot to be grateful for these days. My fantastic and supportive husband (most of the time), who works as much as he can to provide for us. My gorgeous daughter that I was blessed with a little over 9 months ago, (seriously, is she mine?) and that my mom has just about about made it through her battle with Leukemia/Lymphoma in just a few months!!! Life has certainly seemed to give me lemons over and over again (if you know me well, you know what all we've been through and how true it is!) and while sometimes the lemonade is a bit too tart and not quite sweet enough, I really should try and make the best of it more than I do.

PS - I took some 9 month pictures of Kyndall today! So, hopefully I will get to posting them and my monthly update sometime tomorrow.

Wordless Wednesday - Silly Sleeper

2009-04-22T22:40:00.001-05:00

Percentiles - fair or discriminating?

2009-04-21T23:03:00.005-05:00

We went for Kyndalls 9 month check up today (can I start planning her 1st party yet????). It's so funny to me that they "rate" babies in percentiles to let us know how unaverage (is that even a word) our babies really are. From the way I understand it, if you have a fat baby, they are in the 98th percentile...I mean, I get it. You don't want to call a 1 year old fat, even it they are a big ol baby. But on the opposite end, there are the tiny ones, that are in the 25th percentile, or as in the case of one of the blogs that I follow, well, stalk....the 10th percentile! We got all of Kyndalls measurements today...and she's still a tiny thing. Weighing in at 17lbs, 8 oz. The nurse wrote down 25-50 % however, when we looked at the chart, she was really in the 25th. That's for trying to boost our confidence Ms. Nurse Lady! :) Her length was actually closer to average as she's 28", and in the 50-75%. So, she's going to be small, which we've know since both Dustin and I were small as kids (and as I long to be one day again). We are still a week or so away from my "monthly update", so I won't bore you with all of the new thing she's done so far this month, but other than teething and crawling, we're making progress!!!!

And while we're on the subject of teething, the dr didn't see it to be an issue that she's drooling about 2.43 gallons a day, yet still no teeth. She just said to wait and she if she has them at a year, then we can worry. Really?!?! She's been "teething" for the past 4 months. Seriously, do babies really teeth this long?! Wholly crap this sucks! Or drools...whichever way you want to look at it.

Another attempt for an amature

2009-04-19T23:54:00.008-05:00

talk about a-lliteration!

Ok - here are a few of the pictures from my sessions in my attempt at photography over a week ago.

Vallen is my nephew, via my husbands brother, (aka my brother-in-law Joey). He will be 2 years old in just a few weeks! I can't believe how fast these kids are growing! As if you can't tell, Vallen was a little hard to work with, as I'm sure most 2 year olds are. Only, this one doesn't ever want to smile. I bet out of 200+ pictures, he was smiling in 5! We were able to get him to say cheese, which I guess is his attempt at smiling, so he didn't look unhappy in ALL of them. Sweet boy though. It was fun chasing him around until the mosquitoes attacked us. For those in Baytown, DO NOT go to the nature center without OFF! I literally came home with 18+ bites, while Kyndall was lucky enough to only get caught with one on top of her head. We didn't get to take near as many pictures as I wanted to there because they were so bad, and I didn't want to subject any of us, especially K to that. But I digress...pictures dang it.

Gorgeous eyes!

Jordan is my other brother-in-law, Cody's girlfriend. I pretty much call her my sister-in-law since they have been together for about 3 years now. She's graduating from Deer Park this year, and although she had some other senior pictures done, by a professional, we decided to head down to Galveston and let me get some practice. A big point was that she skim boards, so I was going to get some of her doing that...only she forgot the skim board...We still had a good time anyways, and even got a few of her and Cody.

You know...I've realized in doing these, that photography is so much more intimate than I ever thought it was. It takes a lot to share your work, at least for me it does. Maybe as I get a little better, and more comfortable that will change. But for now, I am picturing all of you naked. Because that's what makes this easier for me.

It's a feeling I get

2009-04-19T23:25:00.003-05:00

I've been in a great moody today, almost...dare I say, giddy? There's this thing, a project I guess you could call it, that I've been working on. It's something pretty personal, yet, I can't wait to share with the world. A few know what I'm talking about, but others probably just think I'm nuts...which they would be right. It's coming along so much better than I could have ever dreamed it would. I feel so blessed at this moment, and that I am on the brink of a comeback. Not that I really ever went anywhere, its just that unfortunately, since I've been home, I have felt from time to time that I've lost a little of that independence that I had when I made the long trek to work (uphill, in snow, both ways), that I both enjoyed and needed at times. I feel a sense of that starting to come back. Maybe its because I've got my creative juices flowing right now, and the adrenaline from those have made me momentarily forget about all the bills that are due.
But there is this feeling...a little terror, a little hope, and a whole lotta faith. Not sure exactly what to call it, promise maybe? I just feel that things are starting to look up...and even if it is only for a short time, I'm embracing it, and going after these days full speed ahead.

And the count down is on...Mom has her last Chemo treatment coming up this week! Wow, we've made it through without losing our minds! I'm so proud of her, and her strength. She must be too, after all, she's rewarding herself with an Alaskan cruise at the end of May...

Wait...maybe that feeling is from the gorgeous weather today, and the chocolate dunking sticks I just ate, and not my possible sense of accomplishment. Either way, I'm going to bed a happy girl.

BTW - this song just popped in my mind as I was wrapping this up...this is my favorite verse (For those who don't know...Roger Creager, A Feeling I Get)

Well it's a jalapeno pepper on a cheesy enchilada
Spicy side of life, just a whole bit hotter
An ice-cold cerveza on a hot summer day
Takin' you out to eat and makin' love on the way
It's not knowin' where you're goin' but knowin' when you're there
Bein' with the ones that you know really care
Hey I guess these are all a part of it
It's a feeling I get

Yep. That's the feeling I got.

Friday Fill In #3 (or is it #4?)

2009-04-17T10:39:00.003-05:00

1. Join me in doing today's Friday Fill In!

2. Put a little sunshine in your day!

3. Happiness is giving love, and being loved.

4. I always seem to be dazed and confused.

5. I'm waiting for Kyndall to crawl and get teeth!

6. Starbucks is hard to resist.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going out to eat, tomorrow my plans include visiting with his family and watching the fights, and Sunday, I want to have a good time in the woods!

Bunnys, baskets and boo-boos

2009-04-16T10:22:00.006-05:00

Here are a few quick pictures from Easter. The Bunny came a little late to our house because as Dustin told her, "he had to go see the bigger kids first, and he would be at our house soon", meaning, after she woke up from her first nap of the day. I know, I know, we are late for everything. Even our baby's first Easter. My second mark on the day was when I failed as a mother, and an inspiring photographer to get ANY good pictures of Kyndall in her Easter finest, it was bad timing on my part, and on the part of her napping, the oncoming storm (which literally lasted about 7 minutes), cooking for dinner, etc. Basically, I just didn't have the time and feel so gulity for it. This is the best one I have of her in her dress.

What The Bunny brought her at home...

She LOVES books.

Her "egg glasses", which stayed on all of about 2 seconds. I really don't know how I snapped this in time, she must have been in momentary shock. But I have to say, it's gonna be a classic.

Easter at Grandmas. She liked the filling more than the goodies! Oh, well she did have that marshmallow bunny...

A few days ago, my baby girl got her first visible boo-boo when she hit her head playing. Luckily, it didn't stay longer than a few hours, and didn't leave a huge bruise on the side of her face. Although, I'm sure there will be a time really soon, where I won't be so lucky. I think Dustin is FINALLY getting used to the fact that she's gonna get little bumps. He didn't come running, freaked out at what happened this time...he definitely knows that cry when he hears it!

Wordless Wednesday - Peek A Boo

2009-04-15T14:44:00.003-05:00

Peek...

...A-Boo!

Can your kid do this?

2009-04-12T08:32:00.006-05:00

I know its been a while...again...and the last we spoke, I was in a rather foul mood.
Dustin has been home sick which seems to be consuming my time...
Hoping to have some pictures up of my furthered attempt at photography here soon from the day 'o pictures on Friday.

In the meantime, I was just wondering, if your kid can do this?

Wow. We are so proud.

PS: I hate that I had to use a flash, but I didn't have time to check my camera, or turn on lights, open windows, etc. But this blog isn't about anything professional anyways! ha!

By the way, a few months ago she was this shy eater, unsure of how to eat her little "bites"...now, she's double fisting them like its no big thing.

Break Stuff

2009-04-08T17:44:00.009-05:00

Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel exhausted for no reason, and are just so fed up of anything and everything that just want to punch something? That's how I feel. I really haven't done much today. A load of clothes, a load of dishes, spent some time online...went to the mall. That's about it. Yet, I am just ready for bed right now. Only I know if I go to lay down, it ain't happenin'.

Maybe I'm just hormonal, maybe I'm just tired from only getting about 3 hours of sleep last night(because I just can't seem to sleep anymore,not because of K), maybe I am just pissed because there are no plans for a summer vacation in our future. Who knows. Whatever the reason, I just feel fed up.

And I REALLY want to throw the run away dachshund next door back over the neighbors back fence where it belongs so that its not longer there agitating Chynna. It doesn't even live there, yet, I can't let my dog in OUR back yard because the little shit is evil. As all dachshunds are. And yes, that's how you spell it. NOT D-O-X-I-N.

Another one? People who STARE at you pushing a stroller, doing your best to get through the door at the mall without cutting off a limb (which I almost did a few days ago. Drew blood. Really. ) and go on their merrily little way.

OH! And are 8 1/2 month olds really supposed to yell and cry when you take their toy away!?!? I thought I still had a few more months until that happened!?! But my little turd, is already at it.
Throwing a fit in the middle of BRU. Too bad, I can't whip her into shape in the middle of the stroller section yet...

kidding.

I think I'm going to go play some Limp Bizkit now...

where is that I-pod? I know I used it last time I worked out...a year ago. It has to be around here somewhere.

And is it just me or is crappy ol' Internet Exlorer trying really hard to be like Firefox? It's still crap.

Wait, isn't today supposed to be "Wordless Wednesday"?

Wordless Wednesday - A set of mirrors

2009-04-08T09:10:00.002-05:00

Are you my Mother?

2009-04-06T23:28:00.003-05:00

Is this not one of the most precious things you have ever seen?! We have been reading to her since she was a newborn, and she has loved books every since. This was one of my favorite books when I was a kid. I still think its such a cute story. I bet she could have stayed like this for a good 20 minutes. Which is a LONG time for her attention span!

My Mom's gonna kill me...

2009-04-05T23:09:00.008-05:00

PREFACE: Put on your reading glasses, grab a cup of coffee, and hang on...this is a bit of a long one. I understand if you need to come back later when you have more time. Really, its ok.

Even though I'm a grown woman, and have been out of the house for a while...now that her granddaughter has arrived, my Mom has a new level of keeping up with me. More like keeping up with me as a parent to my daughter. A few days ago something happened with Kyndall and the first thought I had was, this is going on my blog! Shortly followed by, oh crap. My Mom reads my blog. She's going to kill me.

Here's the deal - Everyone morning part of our routine is Kyndall gets up, has a bottle then goes in her Excersaucer or the "pond" as we call it (we're not that crazy, one of the toys actually says "hooray for playing in the pond!". It's a duck/bug/flower/turtle themed one I guess you could say) where she plays for about an hour, before she's ready for her 1st nap of the day. Between her playing and then napping this is my time to either relax and do nothing but watch the Today show while crocheting, or get a lot done around the house...entirely depending on the mood.

A few mornings ago K's in the pond playing as usual, I'm around the house, either in the same room as her which is the living room, or one of the rooms attached but where I can still see her. She starts getting fussy, meaning naptime, and when I get her out, I notice a watery brown drizzled down her shirt. My thought? Ok, she spit up some of her dinner from last night. Either that or theres something on her toy that I missed when cleaning it. Our routine says that she takes her nap, gets up for breakfast, then we change her into her daytime clothes. When it comes time to change I notice more brown on her sleep pants. I think ok, I guess she really did spit up dinner, and she sat on it while playing and rubbed it into her pants. No biggie. No one sees her in her pj's anyways, much less a spot between her legs.

Then, it happens. My "ah ha" moment of the day. As I'm walking past her Excersaucer, I notice something sitting on the edge of it. Something red. Kinda of shiny. I feel this is the point where pictures tell a better story.

For those who cannot tell, the red shiny object that my 8 month old had been chewing on without me know was a Valentines Hersey's Kiss. It wasn't one of those thing where she was on the floor and "puts everything in her mouth"...she was in her safe zone. Where I know all the toys are ok, and she's not going to choke, or injury herself too badly with them. Little did I know, my child has a little something that I like to call "Go Gadget arms". The candy was on a photo portfolio that was on our side table, which I thought was well out of her reach. Apparently, she knocked the portfolio onto the floor, and somehow the trajectory (yes, I just used that word) from the tipped book, flung the candy into the air, landing it on her Pond. I could not make this up. But when I examined where the book was, and where the Pond was...this was the only thing my detective skills could lead me to.

So there...yes she could have choked on it, and I know she shouldn't have chocolate so young. But its done, and she's fine. All I can do now is keep her a bit more away from the table. The funny thing is that I never saw this in her mouth, or in her hand. Which leads me to believe that, she wasn't too big of a fan of it. This makes me question...is this really my kid? But, can you imagine the look on her face when this beautiful new shiny red thing just fell from the sky and landed right in front of her?! I bet it was a good one!

Oh, and at least she survived it and still has her big toe attached!!! Ha ha. I love you Mom!

Speaking of my mom...Doesn't she look great!!! One more treatment to go, mid/end of April! Praise God, He has brought her through this in such an amazing way! Please continue to keep her in your prayers.

Seriously?

2009-04-03T08:57:00.002-05:00

Only one post in a whole week?

I will try to do better next week. Promise.

And let me see if I can't come up with a little more for today, you know...to make up for my laziness during the week. Lets just blame it on this new photo editing program called GIMP (not to be confused with PIMP which requires you to "dress" up your photos with lots of bling, big hats with feathers, and Caddy's, then add in a large cup for drinking alcohol.) HA! Sorry, cheesy I know...Anyways, THANK YOU Donald! I'm still learning it, but loving it the same!

Random information requiring audience participation

2009-04-03T08:14:00.005-05:00

I found a couple of new blogs with what I thought were some pretty fun ideas for Friday...

It's Aloha Friday over at An Island Life! And in the spirit of what is looking like a beautiful day, as well it's got me thinking about vacation. Oh well, that and the fact that I have TONS of offers for free rooms and Vegas...but can't afford to go...

What are your summer vacations plans?

Leave a comment and let me know so that I can be super jealous and live vicariously through you! Then post a question on your blog!

And from another new one I've stumbled across...modified to fit my blog...The orignial poster calls it an award, but lets just call it...MY version of Friday Fill-Ins. Don't forget to pass on the love!

The rules are:
1. Post to your blog and link to the person who you got it from.
2. List seven things you love.
3. List seven blogs you love.
4. E-mail or comment on those blogs to let the people know how great you think they are! :)

Seven things I love: (in no particular order)
1. My family (husband, daughter, mom, etc.)
2. Chynna
3. coffee
4. being a stay at home mom
5. God
6. My best friend who lives entirely too far away, but by the end of the day MAY be just an hour and a half away!!!
7. photography

Seven blogs I love:
1. Babysteps
2. Dooce
3. Shutter Sisters
4. Random Ramblings
5. nienie
6. Johanna's 365
7. Life and Love of a Parrot Head

Monthy Update - Vol I

2009-03-30T14:40:00.000-05:00

In keeping with using this blog as something to look back on years from now (as inpsired by Mindy), I thought I would start an end of the month blog, just to keep up with whats been going on this month.

Not much is really different with Dustin and I, as far as things we are doing, going through, etc. We have managed to sneak a few lunch dates in which was nice, but I'm still waiting on a good weekend away! Right now, we have plans for next month so we will see!

But as far as Kyndall, I have to say this has been her busiest month yet! Every month I read a the section of "What to Expect the First Year"according to what month she's in. I have to say we pretty much have the 8 month list covered! (all except crawling!!)

Here's what she's doing:

Rolling over
Eating on her own (Gerber bites, bananas, cookies, etc.)
Talking a lot more. She just starting saying dada da da da da da da...all the time!Of course I won't admit that she's acutally said "dada" as in, her Daddy yet. Once she looks at him and just says one "dada", then maybe I will give in and call it her first word. But I'm still hoping she pulls out a "mama", while calling to me!
Waving bye bye/hi
Clapping - LOVES to clap!
standing up when holding onto things, even knows how to put her legs up when on her knees to stand
she yells at you if you take something away and she doesn't want you to! (I really didn't know this started ALREADY!)
Knows what sit up means, and does it very well with just a little help
Sleeping on her stomach. This just started, before she would freak out. Now she will go to sleep on her stomach once she rolls over and be fine with it.
Loves to sit in her playpen and play with all her toys

I have to say though, I think the disapproving of taking her toy away and the eating on her own started last month. This is why I take pictures of everything, I can't ever remember!

Oh, and STILL no teeth! So, hopefully for Vol II, I will have some good news about those things!

Friday Fill In # 3

2009-03-27T12:18:00.002-05:00

So this week, the fill-ins are the first lines from the blogger's favorite books. I have never heard of any of them, so some may or may not make sense.

1. "In a hole in the ground there lived a squirrel."

2. "The toast is burned but that ain't no matter." Just scrape off the black part and eat it anyways.

3. "After dark the rain began to fall again, the same as it did the night before."

4. "The men were playing cards from the hold of the Spanish galleon."

5. "There was a hand in the darkness, and is scared the crap out of me."

6. "Accidents ambush the unsuspecting, so either pay attention or be prepared!"

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to having my homemade stew for dinner , tomorrow my plans include CRAWFISH and Sunday, I want to do absolutely nothing!

NOTE: Incase you two would like to do the Friday Fill In - I have started to put a link in the FFI Icon on top! :)

Wordless Wednesday - Ruffles in the Front?

2009-03-25T19:29:00.001-05:00

Thanks for trying honey!

Four Away

2009-03-23T20:49:00.000-05:00

Kyndall doesn't use her bouncer anymore, well, except when I am in the shower and need a place to strap her in. Because even though, she's not mobile (crawling) she still manages to get around and grab anything she can. This morning I was on the computer, and she was hungry, so it worked out well for the both of us. I like to take pictures of her in certain things that I've always taken pictures of her in, like the swing, and the bouncer, so that I can compare how much she's grown. This makes me want to cry...and makes me want another...

She just turned 8 months last week, which means, she's 4 away from a year.

Blech.

Aww.

*tear*

Waving Good-bye

2009-03-20T23:07:00.003-05:00

I received something tonight, that got me thinking about A LOT of stuff...But the first thing that came to mind to write about, was saying goodbye, how many different "goodbyes" are said, and really of those, how many are really ever actually "good"? From the first "bye-bye" of a baby, to the tear filled good-bye when you are losing someone, to the pain staking one of a romantic heartbreak.

I still remember the last thing I said to my dad before he passed away almost 5 years ago, there was a goodbye and I love you in there...but most important was the "just close your eyes and rest". Maybe he took that as his time to let go, because even though I told him I would see him in the morning, I never got the chance. Well, I saw him, but it was under different circumstances then I expected.

Then there was the goodbye to my single life. Which, really, I hadn't been single in years. And was one of the best and easiest "goodbyes" I have ever had to say.

There were more bad goodbyes (isn't that a Clint Black song?) along the way.
Having my best friend move away. And away. And away. AND AWAY...Losing my Granny. Seeing a good friend lose her father (who was also my dad's best friend). Watching some of our best friends, and one of the strongest couples that we knew say goodbye to over 10 years of marriage, and an even longer time together.

The last is the one that has me thinking...
More and more the past year or so, I've heard of, talked to people about, or seen messages, about people we know getting divorced. I hate the thought. I hate the hurt. Both from the parties involved and the feelings when you try not to choose sides, but can't seem to manage not to.

But then there is something. Hope.
This is on a friends (the one that moved away) MySpace page. And I think about it when times get tough.
"When God closes a door, He always opens a window … close your eyes and feel the breeze."
For the loved ones lost, the friends that move away, the relationships ended...there is always something else that comes along to help fill that void. Whether you find it by faith, or in your own way. There is always something to look forward to, no matter how bad things get. And for those divorces I've heard about, there are also the weddings I've been to, and the new babies being born...

I had to say goodbye to my job a few months ago, which was both a good and a not so good one. Along with that came a certain independence I had become accustomed to. I have to depend on my husband for everything now which is definitely taking some getting used to. But I also have a little one who depends on me. She is the good that has come from so many bad goodbyes in my life. Our lives. This little miracle, waved goodbye for the first time today.. To the fish. To the puppy. And then to Daddy as we went shopping.

So, for those who are facing some really challenging times right now, and questioning things, including your faith - remember this...

"When God closes a door, He always opens a window… close your eyes and feel the breeze."

Enjoying the Sunshine

2009-03-20T21:02:00.001-05:00

Since it was such a beautiful day, and we were near the Boardwalk, we decided to take Kyndall there and spend some time just walking around. We some how forgot that it was Spring Break, at least until we pulled in and saw massive amounts of people. Only then the light bulb turned on and we realized why there was a line of cars from the parking lot to 146. Eck. We braved the crowds anyways and had a great time. I took a couple of pictures, but nothing too great. This one says it best...even though its an awful scan and my arm looks all awkward because I was trying to get Kyndall to look at the camera guy. But she LOVED it. She's such a little people watcher and of course catches everyones attention. She loved just wheeling around in her stroller and enjoying the breeze while watching the birds, then the fish at the aquarium, and just soaking in everything else around us.

Ok - I went ahead and included a few.

Friday Fill-In #2

2009-03-20T13:40:00.003-05:00

1. Why do we have to be so mean to one another?

2. What used to be chores, are now habits.

3. I have to go back to Wal-Mart for some things I forgot.

4. I have never heard the phrase "everything happens for a reason" and it didn't turn out to somehow be true.
*Changed this one up from had never, to have never. It doesn't make sense to me otherwise*

5. I spent too much at Hobby Lobby a few days ago, the way I always do.

6. How was I to know that motherhood would be both this amazing and overwhelming feeling of love, and utter frustration all within less than an hour.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to cooking a nice Cajun dinner, tomorrow my plans include cleaning my Mom's house, and Sunday, I want to get out and take some pictures!

Have a great weekend!!! Happy Spring!!!

Caught on Tape

2009-03-18T20:31:00.002-05:00

...well, memory card...

Kyndall officially roller over on her own! And, I missed it. However, it wasn't a happy moment so much for her. I was in her room, and had my back turned to hang some clothes in the closet, she was in her crib (gate was up Mom). As soon as I turned back around, just seconds later, she was on her tummy in the corner of her bed, yelling at me for help. I couldn't help but laugh because she finally rolled all the way over and I missed it! And now she was crying because of it!

A night or so later, we heard a new cry that we hadn't ever heard before coming from her room. Now, I have been blessed with a baby who doesn't really cry much so a high pitched, wail like this really scared the both of us. It happened 3 times the same night, each time one or both of us ran into her room to find her on her belly...in the corner of her bed. Again. So, she's rolling over (still haven't seen her do this in action) and scaring the bejeezus out of herself when she does it. I find that funny, does that make me a bad mother???

It has been a few days, but naptime today, she whines and hollers for a few mintues, and I walk in there to find...

She's again rolled over, and I've again missed it, and its once again scared her. I'm thinking of putting chicken wire around her crib to prevent her legs from coming out...that or maybe the crib bumper, although they do say to remove it once they can move because they can suffocate. But, at this rate, I'm more worried about a broken leg from a screaming baby who's scared herself by rolling over, then her cramming her face into the side...

Send some my way...

2009-03-18T14:20:00.003-05:00

I just got of the phone with TWC and my previous employer regarding my denial of unemployment benefits appeal. Of course, I went into it already feeling the same anxiety, stress, and headache that I dealt with everyday when I would go to work and have to face my boss. She was against me in everything that I did. I had SO MANY managers saying how excellent of a job I did, and how they would be lost without me, yet, my manager, was constantly pointing out my faults. I struggled a lot in the months returning to work from maternity leave, and I knew it. Mostly because I would cry daily during the 1-1 1/2 hr that it took me to get to work, and then the 1-1 1/2 hrs that it took me to get home. Kyndall was the first baby to the sitter then daycare, and the last one picked up. How freaking heartbreaking is that? You know how some Mom's say that its hard at first but it gets easier? It NEVER got easier for me. I was miserable. I would wake Kyndall up early and put her to be late, just to be able to squeeze in 4 hours a day with her.

My boss and I had issues that started even before I went back to work when she emailed (harassed) me while I was still on materinty leave. Several other employees in my department have said time and time again that they don't know how I work with her, and that I was such a good person to be able to...Yet, I'm the bad one. I'm the one with the issues...

Cut through the 4 months of hell from her, weekly doctors appointments for Kyndalls ears, her surgery, more weekly doctor appointments, 3 days for myself where I had to be out because I was seriously close to having a breakdown (or did...who knows), a day and a half for myself when I had the flu (however I went to work for 3 days WITH a fever over a 100 degrees, just to shut her up) ---- landing on the date of 1/9/2009. When I was terminated. AKA - one of the best days of my life. It was funny, as I was leaving they asked if I was ok to drive...and meanwhile I'm thinking...I will be smiling the whole way home for once.

While we are broke now, and having to do without a lot of things we were used to, I really can't remember a time when I have been happier. I never thought I would make it very long as a SAHM, but it's amazing to get to spend the time with Kyndall that I do. And while atfirst this was just going to be a temporary thing, after seeing how well Kyndall and I are both doing (not a single ear infection since the week I left work!! - knock on wood. It may just last quite a while. :) However, having that unemployment check coming in, would SURE be a great help while Dustin's work is slow!!!!

Please, you're praying tonight, or today, or if you're like me, whenever the need strikes. Please send some my way. That God will be in the Hearing Officer's heart and mind, and that she will make the right decision to help out me and my family. I know he will always provide for us, regardless of this decision, but the good Lord willing, this would be such a great help to us right now.

So much for Wordless Wednesday! By the way...today is Kyndall's 8 month birthday, so expect a cute little session from us here in the next few days with one of those outfits she may never get to show off! :)

Look Mom, No Net!

2009-03-17T19:45:00.004-05:00

Kyndall started this about a week ago...then as of a few days ago, she gets on her knees and peers even further over the edge, along with playing a fun little game of "oops I dropped a toy, Mommy and Daddy will you pick it up?" I always put her in the back corner, and she keeps managing to scoot herself up to the front, and pull up while she holds onto it.

So, I fixed her little wagon...No more baby net! I'm thinking she really likes being able to see us better, and of course see Chynna as she goes by. Now, my biggest worry is just her bonking herself on the head with a toy, and not flipping out of the playpen.

Next on the agenda? Lower the crib mattress...

Swarmed!

2009-03-16T21:41:00.003-05:00

Now that the rain is gone for a few days, we had to get out and enjoy the warmth and the sunshine that had come back to rescue us! When our afternoon walk didn't work out because of some dogs on the loose (we had Chynna with us) we wanted to find another way to spend some time outside, and went down to the lake with some bread in tow. We found a group of ducks close to the path, which was great because I wasn't too fond of letting the stroller roll down the side of a hill just to get close to the lake...

There were ducks scattered all over the lake but once we got the bread out, they all swarmed us like they hadn't eaten in days. Seriously, I bet it started with about 10-15, and the longer we were there, the more that came up! I bet there ended up to be around 30 or so. I couldn't believe how close they were getting! We fed them for a bit, when from across the lake we heard this huge goose call and noticed he was right on track for us. This guy was fearless! Once he was on land he shoved the rest of the ducks out of the way and made a beeline for us. Kyndall decided that she was good with the ducks, but not so much the goose, and stuck her little lip out and started to cry. Then as I turned to console her, the little turd tried to bite me on the leg!

We think it was just how loud and obnoxious he was more than anything. So, we headed home...only to be followed...

See the big ol' goose in the middle!

Luckily the gave up before we reached the car...

Retraction

2009-03-13T19:29:00.005-05:00

I'd like to retract my previous blog which discussed the "delicious" weather...spoke to soon.

Thank you.

Come again.

Friday Fill-In - #1

2009-03-13T09:49:00.003-05:00

So, I found this new blog this morning...

And...here we go!

1. When I look to the left, I see my camera.

2. The front is the room that has the best view in my home.

3. Let it work until the batteries run out. (I'm listening to a dying swing as my inspiration on this one!)

4. Dirty Deads done dirt cheap!

5. Paying taxes is a responsibility that all qualified citizens must share.

6. If you have any money feel free to let me have some!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to watching Friday Night Lights, tomorrow my plans include possibly getting an overnight sitter and Sunday, I want to sleep late!

Happy Friday!!!

Grab Bag

2009-03-12T22:34:00.004-05:00

Remember when you were in school, and got one of those bags from the Fall festival? You got to pick what bag you wanted, as a prize, although you didn't know what was in it...but a bunch of fun stuff!?! That's today's post...
Just a fun and exciting grab bag of Kyndall! They aren't the best pictures by any means because I had to hurry for all but the bottle ones...but they are too fun not to share.

This is how she wakes up and lets me know she's ready to get out of the swing...

This must be what happens when she's really tired! I was in the kitchen cleaning, and walked into the living room to find this. This is a horrible shot, but its the best one I got since she woke up within a few clicks. Its hard to get a clear picture when your in a hurry and the swing it moving! But, I think she was attempting this (below) when the nap hit.

This was today...she's been holding the bottle on her own from time to time as she wants to, but this was the first time she held it and finished a whole one!

Dinner tonight...sharing with Sissy (Chynna).

And from a few days ago...her first try at eating bananas on her own...

Slippery little suckers!

Wordless Wednesday - Sneaking a Kiss

2009-03-11T10:57:00.001-05:00

Fishes, Kisses, and Licking the Wind

2009-03-10T09:45:00.014-05:00

FISH TANK UPDATE: There are 5 baby fish in the tank instead of the 2 that we thought we had!! Two gray ones, one black and one yellow. I had to move some stuff around last night to make sure all of the fish were still alive (so far, so good!), and they all came out from hiding! I'm really thinking that they are Molly's and that they belong to the yellow one that we returned because it was too aggressive. Now it makes sense why it was so aggressive! In case you haven't ever seen fish that are only a few weeks old (I hadn't!) - see below.

This is the yellow one and a little shy so I couldn't ever get a good shot. Not that either of these are that good...

There is one more like these two, and a black one.

On to my other baby...
So, Kyndall has started giving kisses about a month ago. You know the really awesome open mouth ones that cover your face in drool?? So messy, but so sweet! She kept doing it over and over one day and I wanted to try and take some pictures of her giving me kisses with the self timer on the camera. As soon as she saw me get set the camera up, she wouldn't take her eyes off of it, and our little kissy session had ended. Since she wouldn't give in to what I wanted, I just smiled into the camera, and gave in to her...I'm sure it won't be the last time. This just proves even further what we have all known...she is a total ham!

Just for fun, here is a picture of her enjoying the wind during our walk yesterday! Every time a gust came, she would do this! Kick and holler like it was just the most amazing thing ever and try to lick the wind!

Or this!

She's so entertaining!!! I love my life! :)

Don't worry Mom, I had a blanket all around the stroller except for a few minutes so that she could enjoy the breeze... :)